Full Moon

I went outside tonight and looked up into the sky and noticed it was a full moon. I immediately wished that I was at home so I would be able to make a prosperity box, then I decided that I could do the writing right now, at work.

SO first I would like to make a list of gratitude.

1. Grateful for my new found health, my new way of looking at food and the positive changes I am noticing in my body.

2. I am grateful for my two children who indirectly push me to be the best I can.

3. I am grateful for my job which provides my family with everything that we need.

4. I am grateful for my happiness, and that I do not suffer.

5. I am grateful for my friends, who are always supportive, encouraging and love me unconditionally.

6. I am grateful that I have finally learned the lesson about honouring myself.

7. I am grateful that I met a man that has altered my view, "that all men are dogs" and treats me with respect.






Here is my list of my new wants and needs and I am praying for GOD to take a look at it and see which ones are coming to me next:

1. Continued good health, positive attitude and happiness.

2. To continue to do well at work.

3. to take kids on a fun vacation to a destination that we have never travelled to before.

4. To have continual growth in finances, and to be able to keep work in balance.

5. To give me strength over cigarettes.

6. To continue to grow and learn in this new relationship I have entered.

7. To keep kids and friends happy, safe and healthy.

8. For the TTC to give me approval to go to Belize and volunteer at the Holy Cross School.

I sure love the prosperity box. Writing all this down and posting it is also sending a strong vibrational message. Now to bed, to rest under the light of the moon.

A big hello to those Canadians that are reading my blog in Etobicoke, Toronto, North York, Vancouver, Oshawa, Brandon, Richmond Hill, Brampton, Airdrie, Edmonton, Squamish, Vaughan, Alliston, Newmarket, North Battleford, thanks for taking the time to read !

Everything is Managable

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I have to be honest and get right to the juice. The man I thought was for me was not for me. I kind of knew it all along, but I was NOT trusting my intuition, which is really The Universe's way of saying ........ LISTEN TO ME. We tend to second guess that voice, but sometimes LOVE STINKS, as the song goes. The good news is that by NOT lowering my standards, I am surely attracting into my life a better partner, and not settling for something I don't really want to begin with. It is a hard lesson, but one well worth mastering.

The good news was that during my heartache there were people there to make me laugh. I talked on the phone with someone who cheered me up, and then late at night a friend of mine Emmanuel, from Black to Eden, came by my work and sat with me for a good hour or so, and told me the funniest stories tha made me laugh til I nearly cried.



LAUGHTER IS CERTAINLY THE BEST MEDICINE. Whether it is for, physical ailments, or heartache, good friends and laughter help alot.



The other great thing is that I went to the Doctor again, I am down another 4 pounds in last 11 days.

I have lost nearly 34 pounds since I changed diet. My pants are falling off, and OH BOY is that a good thing!





And one last thing....... I submitted my requested for leave of absense in 2009 and 2010 to the TTC to volunteer at Holy Cross School. I am planning on spending Christmas 2009 there with both my children, and then my eldest will return home and my youngest will stay on with me and hopefully be able to attend the school, and send her work back to Canada.





I am excited, making changes in another part of the world, and paying my rent in deeds by being here. I went to Habitat for Humanity and dropped off my resume, I would like to do some volunteer work with them, and maybe one day move onto Habitat for Humanity International.

Having Faith

Sometimes we just have to! There is a little nudge inside pushing me forward. Go on......... Go do it............ Just do it................... What is the worst thing that can happen?
I might end up with a broken heart........




Or I might not.......
If my heart gets broken it will heqal and I will move forward,
If not I might pass up a chance to love fully



I might end up losing money


Or I might not.........
If I do, I will still be okay, and I will move forward
If not I might pass up a chance to live and rest on my piece of Paradise

Sometimes I have to stop thinking and follow my heart.
I might not know the outcome but I know I'll be okay.
There are no 50:50, Phone-a-friend and Ask the Audience.

Sometimes You must let the heart lead and not the head.....
I think I will let God drive this one, and I will take a back seat as a co-pilot.

Making space and getting rid of junk

I am getting excited. Life is changing once again. My best friend and I have decided that we will live together, and in doing so, we will reduce both of our overhead debt in half, freeing us up to live our lives.

I am cleaning out a lot of JUNK. It is interesting to see the things that I have held onto and acquired over the years, and it is a relief to let them go...... cleaning out the clutter.

I am hopeful that once she is here permanently, that I will be able to spend more time in Belize. I really am drawn to the Holy Cross School and plan to set up a pen pal program hopefully with my daughter's school. I will do that tomorrow, approach the principal and see if we can get it going.

I also want to look at buying some property in Belize. I am not quite sure how I am going to do it, but I am sure I am going to do it. Everyday I find myself being drawn there more and more. There is lots of work I can help with, and my feet don't hurt there. It must be the warm weather or the sea salt or the sand. Not sure exactly, but know it feels good to me. I had the opportunity to look over some photos today and they reminded me of how enjoyable life is down there.......

I finished my final exam, and it went well. A few more courses and I am finished my BA, hopefully onto a teaching career.

Well I best return to the cleaning of the clutter.

JO

Back to the RED ROCKET

I thought I better write a post, since I am returning to my full-time employment tomorrow, after 20 months of modified duties, and breaking my foot, and being off completely....... YES, it is truly back to the grind.

I could think of a million things to complain about working for the TTC, but tonight I will think of what I have to be grateful for in terms of my employment:

1. Grateful that this job has afforded me the opportunity to buy my home, travel and provide properly for my kids.

2. Grateful that my employer has found a new position for me that will be better for me physically and mentally.

3. Grateful that I can travel for free and save on gas.

4. Grateful for the great people that I know there.

5. Grateful that I will have the means to save money and pay my house off quickly.

6. Grateful that I have lots of vacation time.

7. Grateful that my daughter will have her braces.

8. Grateful that I will be able to continue my education.

9. Grateful that I will be able to learn a new job.

10. LASTLY Grateful that I have a crock pot and have the Internet so I can find crockpot recipes.

Well ~~~ off to bed I go........ Up at 4: 45 will take some getting used to! I have decided to take this opportunity to construct some routine into my life. No more laying in bed til 11 " planning my day"

At least not until I am 45............ YA~ Freedom 45 is just around the corner :)

Until next time....

Joanne

Anger -- WHAT CAN IT DO FOR ME

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. ---- Chinese Proverb



WE are all too familiar with the feeling of anger. It can temporarily paralyze us, cause impairment to our vision, hearing and reflexes.It can have long term affects on the human body's ability to function normally causing psychological, cardio-vascular and digestive disorders. In many cases anger can lead to heart attacks and even death. It is a major contributor to divorce, domestic-assault, murder and finally war. Anger is an attack on our natural sense of equillibreum and balance. In it's purest form it is a "get even mentality" that causes much more destruction than rewards.

Anger itself does more harm than the condition which aroused anger --- David MacKay


Yet, as unhealthy and unnatural as anger is to us we are still able to conjure all kinds of jsutifications for holding onto it. Bitter thoughts flow through our minds like a rapid racing river, "he left me for another woman, I was abused as a child, she got the promotion that I worked hard for" or even things much more trivial like the all to familiar "road rage" and someone jsut interupting a conversation can set us on an angry rampage for the day.

Anger is like a poision brewing in our bodies. It affects us mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. It is an energy that most people try to avoid. Anger can easily be decribed as cold, hostile and unpredictable. It is therefore essential to our own well-being that we rid our mind body and soul of anger. We must learn the tools for looking beneath the anger, analyse it and never get lost in it.

Generally there are deep underlying factors that erupt in anger and make us see red. Anger is an emotion that does not stem from love, but grows from fear. Some of the many issues that fester into the anger blister are: abandonment, sorrow, injustice, rejection and disappointment. However, if we peel back just one more layer we find beneath all of these feelings is fear.

Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. --- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We may fear failure, success, being alone, not being good enough or worthy but the most crippling of all fears is the fear of change. When some type of fear cripples us we often disguise it with an ugly mask of anger. We can always think of ways to justify anger, and we might be quite right, but the fact still remains that anger only hurts the one that holds onto it.

Taking a step back from the situation and looking at it from a spiritual eye, with understanding and forgiveness allows one to see things from a different perspective, another viewpoint or a fresh clean lense. Anger is a choice.WE can feed it, and baby it, and hold it and pay attention toit, talk about it, and watch it grow into an ugly monster. We have options of letting it go, looking at the underlying fear, being open to change, writing, discussing, accepting and allowing. When disected properly we can make positive change by seperating the emotions from the reactions and heal the heart and cheer the soul. Anger, when looked at deeply can be a valuable tool used to propel us forward into self-growth and discovery, healing and success.
Ultimately anger is a choice, and how you deal with it will be yours.

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. -Leo Buscaglia.