DIRECT ABUNDANCE

Time to move on.......

2009-06-05T16:47:00.000-07:00

"what appears to be the end is often just a new beginning"

Since heading in a new direction, changing our focus and expanding internationally, Direct Abundance has decided to close the door at blogspot.

We are now, directing our energy into our own website, Directabundance.com

We invite you to visit our site, keep updated with our current news, special events, services we offer and follow our blog posts there.

Pleasse remember to change your bookmarks to directabundance.com

See you there!

The Ball is Rolling

2009-05-20T19:38:00.000-07:00

SO many changes over the last 7 weeks, I just have to take a big breath in and figure out where to begin. I believe that Direct Abundance has the right mix of people, with the ability to envision what we are aiming for.

In seven short weeks we have managed to get a Board of Directors together, overhaul some by-laws, ran a successful vitamin drive and ship over 50 pounds of medication and clothes, which were donated to us by a variety of individuals from our Facebook page, to the children of Holy Cross.

Heather was able to set up a Sister School Program and get the kids emailing between Holy Cross and Greenholme School here in Canada. Pictures of the children using the computers in Mr. Shane's class can be seen at www.tacogirl.com Direct Abundance has made another contact with the Roman Catholic School in Belize and the Board of Directors are heading down to Belize on June 18, 2009 to meet with a contact from there and make a trip to the Holy Cross.

We have been able to start some fundraising activities, and set an agenda for Volunteer Tours. Yes, there has been much activity around these parts of the world for the last 7 weeks and it doesn't stop there.

Cathy, our newest member, is setting up a buddy system between daycares in Belize and daycares in Canada.

In addition to all of this, we nearly have our website up and running and have a wonderful editor for all of our written material.

It never ceases to amaze me at how much can be accomplished when people work together. We are so excited to be taking our first trip down to Belize together, to visit with the children, hopefully taking along with us plenty of donations, attending a fundraiser for Holy Cross at Changes in Latitudes, and meeting all the wonderful people that help this school to grow and succeed.

Thanks to all for your support! The children appreciate it as much as we do!

A New Direction

2009-03-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

DirectAbundance is steering in a different direction. The goal of course, is still to help others, but a new face has arrived, Heather Zwicker, and the goals are even bigger and better.

With Heather's expertise in the teaching field, specifically with Special Education students, and my background in Social Work, we are aiming to take things to an International level.

Our new mission:

is dedicated in assisting struggling international communities to provide relief, development and advocacy. Our focus is to promote and enhance new and existing social infrastructure and to support families and communities to attain self sufficiency, being sensitive to the diverse cultures which we assist.

Our current goal is to raise funds for the Holy Cross School in Belize. We are excited about the work that lies ahead, and grateful for all the support !

Joanne and Heather

So Excited !!

2009-03-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

I teamed up with my old college friend Heather Zwicker, and we are really trying to get the ball rolling to get Holy Cross Anglican School the items they need. Heather has lots of great ideas and contacts that it just seems unbelievable.

We are meeting this weekend to try to put together a list of sponsors to write letters to. We put together a great facebook group that has had lots of activity and responses. It was exciting to watch the group grow overnight. Heather is currently working on "Adopt a School" program and the "Pen Pal Program."

In addition we currently have lines out there for medical supplies, tools and school supplies. I am overwhelmed at so much happening so fast. I had to go to the library and get some books on fundraising and grants.

Congrats to my friend Laurie for winning the best image blog for Lonely Planet!

Peace

Joanne

Growing a Blog

2009-02-27T13:27:00.000-08:00

I was asked by the founder of Dream Makers, to start a blog for them. I eagerly jumped at the opportunity. Dream Makers is a great organization that helps ill and disadvantaged children all over the world.

Some of the good works that they do are helping , and sending children to Disney that would never get there, helping fund an Orphanage in Rwanda, and just assisting children that really have no other alternative.

I am excited about my new opportunity to work with such a great organization!

My Holiday

2009-02-11T08:42:00.001-08:00

As I said earlier back from Belize. I had a great time with my friends Erin, Laurie, Paul and Bronz. It was nice to see old faces from last year as well.

We sure ate a lot of seafood and drank a lot of fresh juice. A lady named Maria makes fresh juice every morning and it tasted so good.

At the beginning of the trip I stayed at Laurie and Paul's house which was beautiful, and when Bronz arrived I moved to Caribbean Villas. The villas were amazing. We had a loft, with a gorgeous view of the ocean.

Zack gave me a great recipe for Pina Coladas, and I spruced it up with fresh pineapple. We really enjoyed those!

Erin and I went on a boat ride to Captain Morgan's and then we all went back for a buffet dinner. The plantain was awesome!! We also took a tour of Reef Village. We joined a protest boat parade at 7 am, to stop the destruction of the Wetlands and Mangroves. Ironically, that is what I am currently learning about in University. Bronz and I laughed to see our faces on the front page of the paper.

I drove the cart from one end of the island to the other, and am officially the best trained and selected cart driver around. I stargazed at the end of the dock, and enjoyed watching fish.

I looked into Real Estate and Rentals for next year. It is hard to believe that I will be spending nearly 3 months there.

I was sad to come home, but was happy to see my kids and to find that the weather was mild.

Adios Amigos see you in December :) Pictures to follow.....

Joanne

Back From Belize

2009-02-11T08:28:00.000-08:00

Well back to work, and to the cold weather of Canada. I went to the Holy Cross School a few times when I was in Belize. The kids were great as always. I met a medical group that was volunteering, and a church group from the U.S.

The medical group was taking information on all the kids and doing hearing tests, height and weight, and checking for worms. They were setting up a new filing system in the school, to track the childrens medical records.

I had the opportunity to look at the new computer centre. It is amazing. All of these kids will be able to communicate online.

I sorted donations that had been brought in for the morning, and put together snack, for which the children were appreciative of. The current school Social Worker is trying to set up a soccer team with the mom's of San Mateo. An organization her ein Canada, Dream Makers, is going to try to see if they can get a donation of hats, shoes and soccer equipment.

I learned that the AIDS rate on the island is 2%, but they estimate it to be closer to 4%. Those are scary numbers when you consider the size and population. Also there is lack of any kind of social infastructure to help people in need. It seems that you just keep finding there are so many unmet needs. I was always happy to give a few of the kids a ride home on the golf cart, especially the ones that had so far to walk.

I will post pictures later tonight of the kids.

Joanne

Two More Days Til Paradise

2009-01-25T08:38:00.000-08:00

I am so excited as I sit her looking out the window at the cold, bitter snow on the balcony, realizing that in 2 short days I will be back in Belize, with my sandals on.

I was able to muster up lots of donations to take down to the Holy Cross School. Dream Makers donated lots of teddy bears and t shirts, and people from work donated Vitamins and school supplies.

I will be meeting with Dr. Shackelford, from the University of Mississippi, and talking about the work I will be doing on my long term stay later this year. I will be visiting the school at least two or three times this week, so look for interesting pictures!

I am also heading over to Caye Caulker, to explore another island, and I think Erin and I will likely take a water taxi to Belize City. The only way I could convince her was to remind her that it is a long boat ride.

I can't wait to see Laurie and Paul.

This week I have been sick with blood pressure. I finally went to a Naturopath who treated me. I had acupuncture done and prescribed some Chinese Medicine. She altered my diet, and I felt very relaxed and good with her. I feel that this scare, and it was a REAL SCARE! was enough to cure me of smoking.

I must end this blog now, get back to my reading and studies.

Next blog coming from SAN PEDRO, BELIZE, CENTRAL AMERICA! SEE YOU THERE!

A New Year 2009

2009-01-05T18:07:00.001-08:00

Okay! So here it is, my annual reflection on the past year and my looking forward to the next.

2008 - Another great year for me. The first thing I can think of is that I landed a good job that I really like. I earn good money and have good co-workers and bosses and to top it all off, they granted me a three month leave of absence to begin December 2009.

My second accomplishment was that I completed 4 more university courses, and I got 2 A's and 2 B's.

I made several new friends, and two stick out in my mind the most. Bronze, my lovely beau, and Martina, a co-worker.

I took two vacations as well, one to Belize to visit my friends Laurie and Paul, and one to Cuba with the kids. I went horsebacking with my kids on the beach and jumped in the waves in the Caribbean.

I did not meet all my health goals - however, I am going into 2009 20 pounds lighter, 90% vegetarian, and dairy free.

I celebrated as my eldest daughter took flight to Italy in March 2008, and my youngest brought home 6 A's on her report card.

Thankfully this year has had very little chaos and many blessings. In the year 2009 I wish to aim for the following goals

*3 month leave of absense December 2009 to March 2010 and volunteer with the Holy Cross Anglican School, a week in Honduras, and a week in Mexico.

*2 week vacation in Belize (coming up January 27)

* fundraise for the trip to the Holy Cross and raise minimum of $1000.00 to pay for shipping of donations

*pay off bills and possiblu acquire a second property

*have my divorce finalized (it is nearly 75% done)

*finish my BA and get a few more A's

*do well on Kasamba

*continue to live healthy and think healthy

I have a feeling this might be ne of those work your ass ff years, but the final pay off seems so worth it. The end of 2009 has a lot of making my ultimate dream come true.

As I sit here at work 1 hour before midnight I once again reflect what a truly wonderful year it has been. Life is good. Life is so very, very good. What more could I ask for.

A few more Cuba Pictures

2009-01-05T17:46:00.001-08:00

Our Wonderful Maid Doris, and our hotel......... that's the life

JUST FOR LAUGHS CUBA

2009-01-05T17:03:00.000-08:00

Hi Folks, it has been a long time since I wrote.
We went on our family vacation to Belize. The highlight was horseback riding with my children on the beach, touring Varadero on the BEACH BUS, and enjoying the sun and the friendly people.

The funniest experience which my daughter compared to Just for Laughs was out bus riding experience. Since I work for the Toronto Transit, I have a real appreciation for drivers and know how most systems operate.

We went to Varadero on the Beach Bus, and the driver stopped the bus and took some tupperware containers into a restaurant. The kids asked me what he was doing and so I explained that he was likely hungry and getting some food to go. About 5 minutes later he emerged with his food. We started to drive down the main road and the bus driver pulled the bus over again. This time he was at the grocery store. Because we were sitting on the top level of the double decker I was able to see the driver. He was pricing items, and putting them back. At this point I started to laugh and was able to understand why there is no set schedule for the BEACH BUS, just approximately every 20 mins. The driver came back onto the bus a few minutes later and again we were on our way, or so we thought!!! About a mile down the road the driver pulled the bus up to a old mansion style restaurant. To my surprise the driver took his tupperware and made himself comfortable at a table and proceeded to eat his dinner, while the bus was full of people wondering what was going on. The kids and I were laughing so hard that tears were flowing down our cheeks. I thought of how many times when I was a bus driver that I would literally run into a Tim Horton's for a coffee and people got upset. I guess it's different when everyone is on vacation.

I was a little disappointed to see how poorly the staff are paid and the fact that they have to work 6 days a week, 12 hours a day, for less than I make in a hour. The best part was giving gifts away, they were always so appreciated.

Overall, the vacation was good, but I am much more of a rugged, adventure traveller, rather than be waited on 5 star resort kind of gal. I suppose it depends on the person.

The kids loved it. I will leave you with some great photos.

Here I am in Cuba

2008-12-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

Well here I am on vacation in Cuba, and I am finding it relaxing BUT very expensive. My daughter fell down and sprained her leg.... visit to DR. 75.00, there are no collect calls out of country, there are no cell phone services, there is dial up only for internet, no 1 800 numbers allowed, and no bank machines. A letter to Canada or US takes 2 months.

The weather has been nice past 3 days, went horsebackriding, and into town of Varadero, swimming in Ocean and on the CoCo Loco Taxi.

I am quickly learning what being in a communist country is really like. It is not easy at all. I have some news to tell my friend Erin when I get home, how lucky we are to be what she considers slaves in Canada. These people work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, for ONE PESO a day!

WEll back to the ocean, will post lots of fun pictures when I return, but at .50 a minute I am lucky I can afford one hello blog LOL.

Adios

JOanne

Reflexology and a new skill

2008-11-14T18:14:00.000-08:00

Not sure if anyone remembers, but I made it a personal goal that I would start to learn to use a digital camera and blog more. I am still stuck in the days of pen to paper, and Polaroid pictures.

Well, today I started that journey. This week I received 3 hours of Reflexology, which I am finding amazing. Angelica is a relexologist, and also does cupping and massage. She learned in the Philippines, but has also worked in France, Africa , Canada and on cruise ships for 7 years. She did hot stones on my lungs, and was very accurate at knowing where my pain was, what I needed to do to get better. When I entered the clinic I could barely breathe, and after two hours with her, I felt my sinuses clear, my breathing less difficult, and much more relaxed. I can honestly say I felt like a new person.

So I decided to take my boyfriend with me, and see how he likes reflexology. Plus, I needed him to help me figure out a camera. He did both of course. I am not sure if he is as taken by Reflexology, but it certainly has many healing qualities.

I have added some of the pictures, and will continue to add more, hopefully improving my photography skills as time passes.

Volunteering and Travel Itch

2008-11-12T09:22:00.000-08:00

Seems every fall I get the itch to travel, and the itch to be out doing mission work somewhere. I watched the movie Darfur Now, and Emmanuels Story, and keep thinking to myself I should be doing something like that. That is where my heart is.

I did get some wonderful news from my Boss yesterday. He said that he has looked at my leave of absence for next year (3 months in San Pedro volunteering at Holy Cross School) and he said it looks positive. He stated that he would like to help me, and that he will have a definite answer by next week. So Please do send positive thoughts on this.

I ordered a few books from the library today:

Three Cups of Tea

Vagabonding An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel

How to Live Your Dream of Volunteering Overseas

I feel like I am getting ready for take off - no pun intended. I went yesterday and bought a whole bunch of stuff to bring to children in Cuba. I am also collecting clothes for the women and men.

I will rest for the most part today. I have been very sick, and am trying to get myself better as naturally as possible. I am taking a lot of Chinese herbs, greens, honey, lemon, and ginger.

It seems to be working. Bye for now! Off to read

Time to go to Cuba!

2008-11-10T20:28:00.000-08:00

I booked a trip to Cuba with my children last week. We are leaving on November 30, 2008. I have never been to Cuba and I am looking forward to learning all about a new country and seeing another part of the world.

We are staying in Varadero, which of course,will be relaxing, but I am also taking the kids to Havana. WE are looking forward to a week to ourselves, to do some bonding that gets left behind in all the hustle and bustle of our everyday world.

I am looking forward to swimming in the Caribbean Ocean with them, riding on horses, and taking a bus trip to Havana. Those are on my list of things to do. Also going down the water slide a few times in our hotel and taking a double decker to the town of Varadero. My youngest daughter asked if she could sit on the top level. Of course we can!

I will make sure that this trip gives me experience to finally using a digital camera :) I am also accepting donations of clothing to take down there. That is quickly becoming my favourite part of travel, giving things away to those that need them.

I hope my children will have the opportunity to meet some children and give away some personal belongings, and find out what is really important. Until then
VIVA CUBA!

A big hello to the readers in Canada, United States, Belize, Fiji, India
Netherlands, Zimbabwe, Pakistan, United Kingdom, Australia, Sweden, Bulgaria, Switzerland and the Czech Republic

History is made

2008-11-04T20:36:00.000-08:00

Even although I am Canadian, I can not help celebrating the victory of Barack Obama, who was elected the 44th President of the United States. It is a wonderful night to see a black man, become the President of one of the most powerful countries in the world. I am moved by the hope that he has instilled in the younger generation and united a country, and brought together people of all religions, races and ages. Perhaps there is a ligh at the end of this tunnel and that he can influence others to be more accepting of others.

It does appear that this is truly a change that was needed. I am hoping that he will lead the Super Power US and set an example for the rest of the world.

I believe that this man is now in a place to bring about global change for civil rights and human rights, and that is what is needed to help this world move forward in a positive light.

Congrats.......... We are counting on you President Obama, to bring not only American change but global change.

Not Feeling So Well

2008-10-04T07:02:00.000-07:00

I have been a little under the weather. I went to the doctor yesterday, and he gave me a prescription and told me lots of rest, and fluids. I really don't like the feeling of having a high temperature, and the shivers. I will take the time to rest for the next few days.

I decided to get my divorce finalized. I have been seperated now for 14 years, and decided it might be good feng shui to get old clutter cleared in my personal life.

Been planning my family vacation for next month which is exciting. We are thinking that it will be nice to grab some sunshine in Cuba or Dominican Republic. I have not been to either of those places, and so I will make sure I have a good time relaxing there.

Still vegan! I have learned to make Vegan Chocolate cake, and a Great Lentil Soup. If I feel up to it I will attempt to make Leek Potatoe Soup.

Well back to bed and more rest.

JO

Full Moon

2008-09-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

I went outside tonight and looked up into the sky and noticed it was a full moon. I immediately wished that I was at home so I would be able to make a prosperity box, then I decided that I could do the writing right now, at work.

SO first I would like to make a list of gratitude.

1. Grateful for my new found health, my new way of looking at food and the positive changes I am noticing in my body.

2. I am grateful for my two children who indirectly push me to be the best I can.

3. I am grateful for my job which provides my family with everything that we need.

4. I am grateful for my happiness, and that I do not suffer.

5. I am grateful for my friends, who are always supportive, encouraging and love me unconditionally.

6. I am grateful that I have finally learned the lesson about honouring myself.

7. I am grateful that I met a man that has altered my view, "that all men are dogs" and treats me with respect.

Here is my list of my new wants and needs and I am praying for GOD to take a look at it and see which ones are coming to me next:

1. Continued good health, positive attitude and happiness.

2. To continue to do well at work.

3. to take kids on a fun vacation to a destination that we have never travelled to before.

4. To have continual growth in finances, and to be able to keep work in balance.

5. To give me strength over cigarettes.

6. To continue to grow and learn in this new relationship I have entered.

7. To keep kids and friends happy, safe and healthy.

8. For the TTC to give me approval to go to Belize and volunteer at the Holy Cross School.

I sure love the prosperity box. Writing all this down and posting it is also sending a strong vibrational message. Now to bed, to rest under the light of the moon.

A big hello to those Canadians that are reading my blog in Etobicoke, Toronto, North York, Vancouver, Oshawa, Brandon, Richmond Hill, Brampton, Airdrie, Edmonton, Squamish, Vaughan, Alliston, Newmarket, North Battleford, thanks for taking the time to read !

What I Learned Today

2008-09-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

As readers of my blog already know I have started a new veginning, I mean beginning. It has been 6 weeks since I became Vegan, and I went to the doctor today and I am down another 4 pounds When I began this journey I was doing it purely for health reasons, but have been educating myself about the other reasons to become Vegan. Today I learned about some of the reasons to be a VEGAN.

1. For every person who switches to a vegan diet, 1 acre of trees are spared every year.

2. Run off from animal waste is linked to 7000 square mile "deadzone" in the Gulf of Mexico that no longer can support aquatic life.

3. The average American eats 2600 animals in their lifetime ( I have`likely ate that already)

4. Food animals are not protected bu the Animal Welfare Act therefore cruelty is unchecked.

5. Animals are often skinned, boiled and butchered alive.

6. Sick and crippled animals are not protected from cruelty and are bulldozed and dragged by chains and left to starve or freeze to death

When I think of all that it kind of makes me sick, makes filetmignon and veal much less desirable. I am truly learning to like this health living much more everyday.

Yesterday I made a new recipe which was red lentil and sweet potatoe soup with curry and coconut milk. It was delicious. Even the kids liked it.

I am not really too pre-occupied with my weight anymore. It is going down regularly and I feel like am feeding my body good fuel, and that is all that matters really.

Well off to pt the rice in the new rice maker I bought and if any of you have any good recipes for a vegan diet, I am always looking for them.

A day with Uncle Don

2008-08-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to Perth, Ontario to take a drive to see my Uncle Don. He has been diagnosed with Cancer and asked if I would come for a visit before he leaves this earth.

I was dreading the drive there, which is 250 miles each way. My daughter and friend Martina offered to come along for the journey. That made the trip much more enjoyable, and I was able to stay awake.

Surprisingly I had a great time. Uncle Don has a twisted sense of humor and kept us amused with his stories of chasing after young girls. He told me funny family stories of people that have passed on. The funniest one was about my father and his friend George Schluman, who hitchhiked from Toronto to California without a penny in their pockets. Another funny story was my father's advice to "spend all your money, because I am going to be a millionaire."

It appears that my father has the same care-free adventurous spirit that I have and that the apple really does not fall far from the tree.

I knew we made Uncle Don very happy with out visit. He was smiling and laughing, and death seemed years away.

When we left, we decided to go downtown and see what this town had to offer. It is gorgeous. It looks like a little English Hamlet with it's canals and pubs lining the main street.

The long dreaded drive was really beautiful and enjoyable. It made me appreciate the truly beautiful country I live in, the friends and family I have and recognize how grateful I am to be alive.

Everything is Managable

2008-08-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I have to be honest and get right to the juice. The man I thought was for me was not for me. I kind of knew it all along, but I was NOT trusting my intuition, which is really The Universe's way of saying ........ LISTEN TO ME. We tend to second guess that voice, but sometimes LOVE STINKS, as the song goes. The good news is that by NOT lowering my standards, I am surely attracting into my life a better partner, and not settling for something I don't really want to begin with. It is a hard lesson, but one well worth mastering.

The good news was that during my heartache there were people there to make me laugh. I talked on the phone with someone who cheered me up, and then late at night a friend of mine Emmanuel, from Black to Eden, came by my work and sat with me for a good hour or so, and told me the funniest stories tha made me laugh til I nearly cried.

LAUGHTER IS CERTAINLY THE BEST MEDICINE. Whether it is for, physical ailments, or heartache, good friends and laughter help alot.

The other great thing is that I went to the Doctor again, I am down another 4 pounds in last 11 days.

I have lost nearly 34 pounds since I changed diet. My pants are falling off, and OH BOY is that a good thing!

And one last thing....... I submitted my requested for leave of absense in 2009 and 2010 to the TTC to volunteer at Holy Cross School. I am planning on spending Christmas 2009 there with both my children, and then my eldest will return home and my youngest will stay on with me and hopefully be able to attend the school, and send her work back to Canada.

I am excited, making changes in another part of the world, and paying my rent in deeds by being here. I went to Habitat for Humanity and dropped off my resume, I would like to do some volunteer work with them, and maybe one day move onto Habitat for Humanity International.

100 ways to regain peace

2008-08-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

A whole week has passed and I am back to work, busy developing a MYspace page and reading another book , "Inner simplicity - 100 ways to nourish your soul" by Elaine St. James

Some suggestions that I have noted and need to improve on are:

Simplify your life: reduce workload and social obligations
Connct with the sun: amen for that. I took the air-conditioner out of my window and took the wood that was boarding it up out. It felt good to have a room full of light again

Figure out what you need to do to get well

Latch onto synchronicity: reduce pace and look within

Take time to read

Sleep alot: Relish it, luxuriate in it. Grow in it. You need it.

Ask for help from the universe

Today I will really take those to heart. I will reduce my list of things to do, and do what needs to be done only.

Thinking on the Beach

2008-08-21T21:27:00.000-07:00

How Life Changes

When we got to the cottage today, we could not find the key, and so we had to make do until we could get in touch with the owners. We were in no rush so Erin and I decided to go down to the lake.

We had a bottle of wine but no glasses, no problem, just take the whole bottle. As we were sitting on the beach enjoying life, my oldest daughter comes running down, to the lake and says that she has to go to the bathroom. We are in the middle of nature for goodness sakes, find a tree and go. At least we have toilet paper and garbage bags. I had spoken the unthinkable to her. These kids today are so spoiled. In an era of fast pace, technology and everything received on Demand they expect you to drop life, get in the car, and drive them to the nearest Tim Horton’s where they can not only use a luxurious toilet, but they can grab an iced cappuccino while they are at it.

When I was a kid, I was lucky if I got a drive to the town store once a week to get candy.

It happened again yesterday, I was walking by a toy store and the kids asked if they could go in. The found some puppets “marionettes” and asked me how to work it. I showed how the legs and arms moved. They were really fascinated by that. That is what I used to get for Christmas. Now it is a world of Laptops, Playstations , Mp3 players, and cell phones. It really is bizarre that the technology of computer does not faze a child, but a marionette does.

Life has changed so much in just 40 years. We were lucky to get 2 stations at the cottage, and that is IF the cottage even had a Television, and if it did you could be sure that it was black and white and had lines or was all fuzzy and you could not see properly.. Now here I am typing blogs on my laptop.

I often wonder what the next 40 years have in store. Can technology continue to advance at this pace? I don’t think so. What new inventions does the next 40 years have in store? Maybe we will be living like the Jetsons, flying over to our neighbours on some kind of propelled jet. All I know is that we sure have moved light-years away from the stone age of the Flintstones.

No One Cares What You Had for Lunch

2008-08-21T20:50:00.000-07:00

I went to the library yesterday and got a new book on blogging.. Great title, “No one cares what you had for lunch 100 Ideas for your blog” written by Margaret Mason, of Mighty Goods www.mightygoods.com

Since I will take her advice I am not about to tell you what I had for lunch, but as any reader of my blog knows, it was void of any meat, dairy or caffine. We are at the cottage though, and so it is not void of any alcohol.

It is nice here, by Lake Erie. WE have our own little cottage, with a nice lake and right now I can hear wind through the trees. I thought of what a waste of money it is to go south during the summer. Yes, Canada is my home, and during the summer this is where I should stay.

The kids are at the lake in the rubber boat, and have promised me not to swim past their noses. The two older girls have gone for a walk to the store to get us marshmallows for tonight’s bonfire. Erin is having a little snooze on the futon. And I am here getting my list of things accomplished that need to be taken care of.

Last night I decided to clean out my closet and get rid of clothes that are too big, or that I would never be caught dead in. I was supposed to bring my digital camera and learn how to use it properly, but note to self is:

The first step to learning to use a digital camera is NOT to forget it at home on the kitchen counter, however I have a camera phone so will use some photos from that. I am so glad that I am not in school for a while. I need a mental break, and I like to read and have missed out on it tremendously.

Now I will head to the patio to overlook the lake, listen to the birds chirp and get in some of that reading that I have been missing for so long…….. until later.

JO

Still detoxing

2008-08-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

Wow ! Life sure has a funny spin to it. I went to the doctor this morning and he gave me the good news. I have lost 12 pounds since July 30, 2008. Not that I needed him to tellme, my pants are starting to fall down and in total I am down 5 belt notches. I am thrilled really.

I have not had a coffee since July, nor dairy products, nor animal protein and quite honestly I have never felt better. I used to complain that my feet hurt terribly. I have noticed that my nails are shiny, I have more energy, and my bones are not hurting. I looked at a diagram of feet and the different areas and what they represent. The areas where my feet used to ache are kidneys, liver and spine.

I am also thinking of doing ionic foot detox. When you do that the water your feet are soaking in changes colour.

Yellowish Green: kidneys, bladder, urinary tract, gynecological/prostate area.

Orange: joints-arthritis, rheumatism, gout

Brown: liver, tobacco, cellular debris and fat impurities

Black: liver

Black flecks: Heavy metals such as lead, mercury, nickel, and aluminum

Dark green: gall bladder, shows a weak immune system

White foam: Lymphatic system, skin allergies, menses disorders

White cheese-like particles: Most likely yeast, unused enzymes, insomnia, migraines, constipation

Red flecks: Blood clot material, thrombus, hypertension, cold hands/feet, bruising

I have the week off for vacation, and I am so grateful. I think I will go to Centre Island for a bike ride, and I am taking the kids to a cottage for two days with my best friend Erin. I am also going to figre out how to use a digital camera properly. I am very technically challenged and it is my goal to get past that hump.

I cant wait to lay under the stars and chat with her all night long. Sometimes it seems that life is so fast paced, that we just dont have enough time to get things done. That is when I remind myself, that I have exactly the same amount of time as Mother Theresa, Ghandi and Helen Keller.

Kensington Market

2008-08-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

Well here I am 7 days into my new eating routine, and I am down 5 pounds........ How ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. Ihave tried every diet in the world, and it seems to me that AU Natural seems to be the most effective.

Tomorrow I am going to Kensington Market. My Friend Laurie used to live there, and I used ot like to go there to buy fresh sausages, and visit the bakery and cheese store. Now I like to go there to buy my vegetables, and fruit, and visit the health food stores.

Kensington Market is a distinctive multicultural neighbourhood in downtown Toronto, Ontario. The Market is one of the city's oldest and most famous neighbourhoods, and in November 2006, it became a National Historic Site. Its approximate borders are College St. on the North, Spadina Ave. on the East, Dundas St. W. to the South, and Bellevue Ave. to the West. Most of the neighbourhood's eclectic shops, cafes, and other attractions are located along Augusta Ave. and neighbouring Nassau St. and Kensington Ave. The market is best travelled on foot or bicycle, as the narrow one-way streets and numerous dead-ends are difficult to navigate by car.

I will also go and visit my frind Moses, who owns the store House of Moses, for all your Rastafarian Needs. He always has good music and an interesting display outside of his store. He also sells lots of shea butter, incense and interesting items from Africa and the Carribean.

I will go and buy my organic sugar. I am enjoying feeling lighter, sleeping longer, and an overall sense of eating healthier. Now if I can jsut break my other vice I will live a long and healthy life ( I hope )

Detoxing the Body

2008-08-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

I have taken on a new project. Project ME. My friend is studying Chinese Medicine and thought I might be a good case study. So I agreed. I need to repair my body, and make some healthy changes so I thought this was a great opportunity.

She interviewed me, asking me a bunch of health related questions, and then took pictures of my tongue. She could see from the tongue that there was lots of toxins in my system, and the sides of my tongue were swollen, indicating some kind of intestinal problems. SO we embarked on a strict diet, to get things moving inside, and clear out the poisons.

As I eat my breakfast of Oatbran, rice milk, and berries, I remind myself that the body is a machine and it needs a tune up.

I have been eating "Kale Delight", which is steamed Kale with leeks and mushrooms, add that to my bowl of rice, and my black beans, with a bit of organic salsa and it takes nearly as good as steak and lobster.

When craving sweets, have bowl of rice, teaspoon of organic sugar, and berries.
Today I baked apples with cinnamon on top.

I am excited really to embark on this journey, as I really feel that this is the year, the time to get things in order health wise. I feel very confident in the other areas of my life. But this is the one that holds me back. Eating healthy requires some work, some planning and some preparation. That is what I must ensure that I schedule into my day.

Will update with the diet, the cleanse and how I am feeling. Last night I felt very tired, but I suppose that is to be expected, such a huge and drastic change.

Off to drink my 6 glasses of water and drink some ginger tea!

Happy Canada Day!

2008-07-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

Today is July 1/ 2008. Happy Canada Day and day off work. I noticed how much I have changed. I have never been able to relax, and I am now. I am able to not focus on time, and just know that when it is time to go home, I will know that it is by a feeling.

I am at Emerald Lake with the kids, Liam and Erin. A truly Canadian experience. The Great Canadian outdoors, with the woods, the lake formed in a quarry and BBQ’s. Canadians taking advantage of the little warm weather that they have and flocking to the water, a sacred retreat in the months of July and August. The kids are having a great time. I just walked down to the waterfront and watched them jumping off cliffs. I took a 3 k walk around the park.

I am practicing being observant, being in the now.
I saw a beetle crawling,
The buds of the cedar tree beginning to open up
The little bell flowers opening
I heard the birds,
The waves
The rustle of the tree leaves above my head
I saw the big white cloud sin the blue sky
The laughter of the children and the older man to my left.
I saw the seagulls flying
The butterflies flying over the bushes

People must really like coming to the lake, they all sit down, and laugh and eat at the BBQ’s. Life is pleasant. The worries of the working world are a day away and about 50 miles east of this little place.

Having Faith

2008-06-24T19:36:00.001-07:00

Sometimes we just have to! There is a little nudge inside pushing me forward. Go on......... Go do it............ Just do it................... What is the worst thing that can happen?
I might end up with a broken heart........

Or I might not.......
If my heart gets broken it will heqal and I will move forward,
If not I might pass up a chance to love fully

I might end up losing money

Or I might not.........
If I do, I will still be okay, and I will move forward
If not I might pass up a chance to live and rest on my piece of Paradise

Sometimes I have to stop thinking and follow my heart.
I might not know the outcome but I know I'll be okay.
There are no 50:50, Phone-a-friend and Ask the Audience.

Sometimes You must let the heart lead and not the head.....
I think I will let God drive this one, and I will take a back seat as a co-pilot.

The only thing to fear is fear itself

2008-06-09T11:40:00.000-07:00

I am taking a big plunge ! I am going to buy a place in Belize. I am a little afraid, but I know there is nothing to fear. It is not a lot of money, and it is a good investment, but still.......

I think about writing from my laptop on the balcony, overlooking the water, and seeing smiling faces walking down the beach. I think about the water. I spent a lot of time in a lawn chair under a palapa, looking at the water, and wondering if I could really have it all......... and now I realize that I can.

I can watch the sun come up in the morning, and in the evening watch the beautiful sunset into the ocean. My bones have been so sore. This week I have gone to the specialist, and the physiotherapist, and against my better judgement, I even had to take a tylenol to make it to work. In Belize I will walk into the warm salt water and let it heal my bones.

I will be able to do lots of volunteer work. When I am bored I can take a walk, look at nature, go to the ocean and look at the ocean creatures. I can visit with friends and dance on the beach.

That is my most memorable moment :) Dancing on the beach ............. oh how I could live my life dancing on the beach and my bare toes in the sand.

Just as I am writing this, I got a letter from Tim, the owner of Banana Beach, where I am thinking of moving. I loved it there.

Here I was in March envisioning buying it............. maybe now it is a reality

New Things

2008-06-05T15:09:00.000-07:00

So last night I am in the middle of my homework, and my computer freezes up. I try repeatedly to reboot it, and it is not working. I keep getting all blue screen and it says CORRUPT on it. I have no time to dilly dally. It is time to retire the old Pentium 3 and buy a lap top. I have been putting it off for a long time, and coincidentally my new Credit card came in the mail today. So I contemplate for a few minutes and set a limit on what I will spend . The limit is 500.00 for a refurbished one, from my friends at Rama Computers. I rush out the door, no time to brush hair, and run into the store. One laptop! 275.00 SCORES!

A new lap top is exactly what I have been needing, especially with my school work, and Directabundance, and plans on extended three month sabbaticals from work.

What!?!?

Three months. Yes another wonderful opportunity has presented itself to me. On my birthday I received a letter from the Holy Cross School http://holycrossbelize.blogspot.com/2008/06/storm-from-albert.html. They have invited me to assist with the opening of The Abused Children's Counselling Centre in Novemebr 2009. I am elated. Just praying work will co-operate. There are so many wonderful things going on with the school right now, The Recycling Program, The Computer Lab, The Gardening Centre, I wish I was there for it. However there is a time for all things and I think mine is soon coming.

I would like to get down there and help with an Abused Woman's Program and support centre, maybe some kind of job training. Life is very exciting with an array of possibilities.

So here I am mobile :) Laurie says getting my lap top makes me one step closer to travelling. I think she is right.

My daughter had some exciting news today too! She is going to Circle Square Ranch. Ironically ( well not really, synchronistic) she has been offered a placement in that camp and she was jsut researching it online the other day.

School went well. I managed to pull off an A- in Social Inequality and a B+ in Accounting. That is ok, never wanted to be an accountant anyways, but it is nice to know some new accounting things. Now I am taking Critical Reasoning and Sociology of Work. I will be finished this year, and have found a Master of Arts Program that I want to take at Florida State University.

I am loving my new job, and see old faces pass by daily. The other day I ran into my placement Supervisor from 1992. WOW! SHe looks marvelous and we will be meeting for lunch. I meet some nice people that are travelling. This job enables me to do nice things and smile. When people are short money, or need to get on the transit I can decide whether to allow them or not. I am pretty compassionate, so it would be rare that I say no, and people are generally Grateful, regardless of what we might think.

Yep......... Life is GOOD! LIFE IS DAMN GOOD!

JO

IN NEED OF A SHIPPING COMPANY

2008-05-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

Today friend Laurie in Belize sent me a message on MSN. It was a post about how there is PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT and MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND EDUCATIONAL SUPPLIES that need to be shipped to the good children of San Pedro Belize that attend the Holy Cross School.

It made me cry, thinking that all these wonderful things are locked in a trailer somewhere not being used and appreciated. I remember talking with Vernon about how he wanted to get that shipment down to the children. That was over 2 months ago.

Today I sent out a letter, both to people named Adam. One is my personal close friend, and he has ties to large companies. The other is the Chair of the TTC, the company for which I work. I asked for their help in finding a shipping company or company sponsorship to pay for the cost. I wish I would win the lottery tonight. It would be the first thing I paid.

While I was writing the letters, I thought a good place to post it might be on Oprah's Angel Network. Maybe one of the people on the message board is connected to a shipping company.
Tomorrow I will begin mass mailing to shipping companies. I hope that FED EX OR UPS or something will happen and the winds of generosity will blow the playground towards San Pedro.

The most reasonable quote they have received is $6,500.00 for the transport from Houston through Mexico and into San Pedro

PLEASE LOOK AT THE EQUIPMENT THAT IS WAITING TO BE SHIPPED AND HELP THINK OF A WAY TO GET IT THERE.

http://holycrossbelize.blogspot.com/2008/05/discovery-zone.html

PEACE

Joanne

Good News !!!

2008-05-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

I just got off the phone with the principal at my daughter's school. There is good news!
The school here in Mississauga is willing to do a pen pal program with The Holy Cross School in Belize. We won't be able to start until September, but I do have approval from the school, which is very motivating. I am trying to get some copies burnt of the slide show, so I can go and present it to groups of churches and schools that are interested in helping.

I am finished my winter university courses, and I did quite well. My Professor has encouraged me to carry on for a Masters Degree, and so I will likely be continuing after this year.

Today I made the decision to take 3 weeks off next year and go to Belize and volunteer with the school. I have written the school and asked that they send me a letter to present to my employer. I was so excited while I was planning it!

I better get back to the books. Today is pretty much all the time I have. I am doing a fund-raiser tomorrow for the Weekend to End Breast Cancer. I hope I will be able to raise a lot of money. I need to get to 2000.0 before September and I am at 610.00.

MY FAVOURITE QUOTE ~~

2008-04-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
Mother Teresa

Making space and getting rid of junk

2008-04-27T14:08:00.001-07:00

I am getting excited. Life is changing once again. My best friend and I have decided that we will live together, and in doing so, we will reduce both of our overhead debt in half, freeing us up to live our lives.

I am cleaning out a lot of JUNK. It is interesting to see the things that I have held onto and acquired over the years, and it is a relief to let them go...... cleaning out the clutter.

I am hopeful that once she is here permanently, that I will be able to spend more time in Belize. I really am drawn to the Holy Cross School and plan to set up a pen pal program hopefully with my daughter's school. I will do that tomorrow, approach the principal and see if we can get it going.

I also want to look at buying some property in Belize. I am not quite sure how I am going to do it, but I am sure I am going to do it. Everyday I find myself being drawn there more and more. There is lots of work I can help with, and my feet don't hurt there. It must be the warm weather or the sea salt or the sand. Not sure exactly, but know it feels good to me. I had the opportunity to look over some photos today and they reminded me of how enjoyable life is down there.......

I finished my final exam, and it went well. A few more courses and I am finished my BA, hopefully onto a teaching career.

Well I best return to the cleaning of the clutter.

JO

Back to the RED ROCKET

2008-03-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

I thought I better write a post, since I am returning to my full-time employment tomorrow, after 20 months of modified duties, and breaking my foot, and being off completely....... YES, it is truly back to the grind.

I could think of a million things to complain about working for the TTC, but tonight I will think of what I have to be grateful for in terms of my employment:

1. Grateful that this job has afforded me the opportunity to buy my home, travel and provide properly for my kids.

2. Grateful that my employer has found a new position for me that will be better for me physically and mentally.

3. Grateful that I can travel for free and save on gas.

4. Grateful for the great people that I know there.

5. Grateful that I will have the means to save money and pay my house off quickly.

6. Grateful that I have lots of vacation time.

7. Grateful that my daughter will have her braces.

8. Grateful that I will be able to continue my education.

9. Grateful that I will be able to learn a new job.

10. LASTLY Grateful that I have a crock pot and have the Internet so I can find crockpot recipes.

Well ~~~ off to bed I go........ Up at 4: 45 will take some getting used to! I have decided to take this opportunity to construct some routine into my life. No more laying in bed til 11 " planning my day"

At least not until I am 45............ YA~ Freedom 45 is just around the corner :)

Until next time....

Joanne

In Training

2008-03-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

It is March 28, 2008 and I am getting ready for final exams and to start my fundraising for THE WEEKEND TO END BREAST CANCER 60 KM walk. Today was awesome. I was given two tag days by Loblaws and two tag days by the LCBO. A tag day is where I go sell pink breast cancer items to raise money towards the $2000.00 I have to raise. This year I am walking with a friend and our team is called the BOOBSIE TWINS. That will be fun. And hopefully this year it won't be so hard on my feet as I am walking 6 km everyday now, and hope to have that up to 10K by mid April. By September I will be in good shape for the walk. I am hopeful that I will surpass my fundraising goals, and in the meantime I am losing weight daily by walking. I ordered some cool pink items to sell.

If anyone would like to contribute to my fundraising efforts please click on the link below

http://www.endcancer.ca/site/TR/Events/Toronto2008?px=1973880&pg=personal&fr_id=1254

I best head to bed now, so I can rest and get ready for my walking routine tomorrow. In the meantime I will leave you with this thought..............

Prosperity Box

2008-03-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight I created my new Prosperity Box.

I make one or two a year. My friend Laurie taught me how to do it a few years ago

HOW TO MAKE A PROSPERITY BOX

Make yourself a prosperity box - prepare stuff that symbolizes prosperity TO YOU. It can be a coin (in gold colour), a banknote, a piece (or pieces) of items in green (as green means $), items in diamond shape, or items in goldcolor a red heart or rose petals to symbolize love.

Again, you cannot go wrong so long as you're sincere and the items you put into the box mean prosperity to you. As to the size of the box, it doesn't matter, it can be as small as a matchbox if you wish, or it can be as big as you need. Have your box in hand or close by and you can simply say a prayer by the window facing the moon, but if you cannot see the moon where you live, it's also fine just to say a prayer facing the sky. It is more so your intent that counts and the full moon energy in the air.You can say your own tailormade prayer -

Try to do it before midnight - say around 11pm, but if you can't, it's still fine - as long as u do it at night time.What's more you can do is to light a little green candle (beware of the burning time of the candle especially if you're doing it at 11ish) as you make your box (putting the items in).Make sure you're done (close the box) before midnight.

Place it in a drawer or wherever that's convenient to you, and do NOT open it. Just leave it there.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I opened it up to put the new items in it, it was funny to see how many of the things have already come true.

I found a letter that said I wanted to learn Reiki and Mindfulness Meditation,

and I found another letter that said I wanted to take the kids to Disney and go to Belize!

So I carefully selected the items to put in that box and focus on making them happen.

Funny, how often our prayers are answered and we don't even notice. With something tangible like this is it very clear.

I will say my prayer at 11 tonight, and hope that GOD has open ears and eyes.

Peace,

Joanne

Back to the Grind

2008-03-17T22:02:00.000-07:00

Time is flying by, and there are so many things to do. I am never bored. Been spending time writing my book, doing workshops, university studies and meditating.

Last week I had another Dream Rebuilding Presentation at the Shelter. The women really seem to enjoy it. I notice that anytime spent not worry about the crisis they are in is a positive step forward. I enjoyed listening to a woman that always dreamed of driving and having her license. She was able to find a car in a magazine, cut it out and regain that as one of her future goals.
I also met another woman that was inspiring to me. She wants to return to school and become a P.S.W. I sure hope that she will continue on that path. She will do a wonderful job at helping those that are sick and frail. It is interesting to see how a a few magazines, a pair of scissors and some glue can bond a group of women together, and get them thinking in a forward direction.
I am back at the shelter again in April to do another presentation. I really enjoy my 2 hours there, and as nervous as I once was, I seem to be coming more confident in my abilities to facilitate a group of people.

My daughter returned from Italy two days ago, and said it changed her life. She is ready to travel now! Already saving for Spain and France. Like mother like daughter I suppose. My youngest daughter is content with a new skateboard and is anxiously awaiting the big melt and spring. She said she is tired of putting on hat and mitts and will be happy when she just needs her short and some running shoes.

It took me a little while to get back into the groove here in Canada. I was stuck on island time. I am just finishing my research paper on the Working Poor in America. Ironically, a country so wealthy and so rich in knowledge can not figure out that there has to be Employer Consortium to eliminate poverty. The answer really does seem simple. The most important thing I learned this week is that in a country like the US and Canada, nobody that is employed full-time, and works all year, should live below the poverty line. It is sad that so many do, and such a huge portion of those are children.

Well ~ it is back to the books, back to the the grind. I am looking forward to finishing up my final year of university and seeing what is next in line.

So Many Options ~~ So much to do

2008-03-08T14:47:00.001-08:00

Well I am back from San Pedro Belize, and must say, I am looking forward to returning. I have found a place that warms my heart and the options are endless. When I was there, I felt more alive than I have in years. San Pedro is my natural clock. I wake with the sunrise, and sleep around midnight. My aching bones went away, my nails grew, and my breathing improved.

I plan on buying a piece of land there this year, and hopefully my best friend, Erin will build with me on it. My little piece of paradise far, far away. A small 14 seater plane will fly me to my destination. Amidst the beauty of the sea and the warm air, there is a small part of San Pedro that could use some help.

I saw that there was ample humanitarian work that could be started there. After talking with the school officials, it became clear, that I could get some pilot projects started on this tiny island. Some of the things I was told were desperately needed are:

Sponsor a grade 8 student to go to high school for 1000.00 US per year, there are 35 students who need to go to high school next year, and for half the yearly salary of a US or Canadian teacher 35 deserving kids can have that.

There needs to be sewage in San Mateo and electricity. The smell of San Mateo will stay with me for a long time. There is nothing so disappointing as the SMELL of poverty.

A safe house for women and children needs to be built. I spoke with a female police officer that informed me she would be interested in working on a domestic abuse program.

A donation needs to come from a shipping company to deliver the playground that is waiting to be shipped from Texas to the school so that the children can play in a nice safe playground, and not be surrounded by broken glass and bottles.

I am planning on trying to connect with some church groups, social groups and organizations to see if we can get donations of money, time, and service. After all we are all one. I am looking forward to a day when I will be able to give my time to those that could use the help.

The options are endless where to help and I just can't wait to get started. I also will enjoy after a hard day of work, going to the beach and watching the sunset. Ya! That warms my heart!

Holy Cross School - San Pedro Belize

2008-03-08T06:27:00.000-08:00

Feb 2008 ~ My trip to Belize

I went to the Holy Cross School yesterday.

It was certainly an eye opener for me. The first thing I noticed was that the children were so friendly. They welcomed their foreign visitor and were the most polite children I had ever seen. In the classroom, I could hear scuffling of books, papers and saying shhhhhhh, because, of course I am assuming, they have that much respect for Vernon.

I also noticed that this school is modest in it's appearance, but seems to be teaching things schools in North America could learn a thing or two from. I read the writing on the wall myself. Instead of your everyday graffiti, it said , Love your family and Help the sick.

I chatted with Vernon with length and took a walk through San Mateo. I learned of some of the difficulties these hardworking families deal with. I learned how much the community is benefiting from the school and how they would like to to expand, to increase career opportunities for these children to work towards, and judging from their behaviour, they certainly have the discipline and motivation to financially EXCEL in any part of the world.

I hope that I will be able to return year after and see the school grow. Thank you for a wonderful tour, and I am thankful for all the hard work, effort, and love you put into your school. May you be blessed with tonnes of abundance, and goodwill.

Joanne from Canada

Buying Bananas and Vacation Time

2008-02-19T16:20:00.001-08:00

I am so excited! We are booked to head to Belize, that is my best friend Erin and I. We booked our tickets and I am looking forward to joining our other friends in Belize. I am also looking forward to visiting the Holy Cross Anglican School. I want to go down to the school and volunteer for a day and see how things are working in a school in a third world country. It will be good exposure for the life I am planning on living.

http://tacogirlblog.blogspot.com/
http://holycrossbelize.blogspot.com/

University is moving along great. I just can't believe how much there is to learn. I have been learning about the poverty in Jamaica and the Kingston Free Zone.

I am just appalled to really learn how much wealth is in so few countries, and how the rest of the world survives or struggles might be a better word. I thought about that tonight when I was buying my bananas. I recently saw a clip in the movie "Life and Debt," how Dole, Chiquita and Del Monte have slave labourers working on Banana Plantations. It was disgusting to see the workers being beat and forced back to work at gun point when they tried to form a union. All because bananas is a big money business. The more I hear about slavery in the year 2008, the more grateful I am to be privledged to live in a country like Canada. The next time you reach for those bananas when you are in your local grocery store, take time to give thanks, for the people in South America that are getting paid 1.00 per day and living in squalor, to ensure that we can send a snack in our kids lunches.

Anger -- WHAT CAN IT DO FOR ME

2008-02-04T19:14:00.000-08:00

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. ---- Chinese Proverb

WE are all too familiar with the feeling of anger. It can temporarily paralyze us, cause impairment to our vision, hearing and reflexes.It can have long term affects on the human body's ability to function normally causing psychological, cardio-vascular and digestive disorders. In many cases anger can lead to heart attacks and even death. It is a major contributor to divorce, domestic-assault, murder and finally war. Anger is an attack on our natural sense of equillibreum and balance. In it's purest form it is a "get even mentality" that causes much more destruction than rewards.

Anger itself does more harm than the condition which aroused anger --- David MacKay

Yet, as unhealthy and unnatural as anger is to us we are still able to conjure all kinds of jsutifications for holding onto it. Bitter thoughts flow through our minds like a rapid racing river, "he left me for another woman, I was abused as a child, she got the promotion that I worked hard for" or even things much more trivial like the all to familiar "road rage" and someone jsut interupting a conversation can set us on an angry rampage for the day.

Anger is like a poision brewing in our bodies. It affects us mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. It is an energy that most people try to avoid. Anger can easily be decribed as cold, hostile and unpredictable. It is therefore essential to our own well-being that we rid our mind body and soul of anger. We must learn the tools for looking beneath the anger, analyse it and never get lost in it.

Generally there are deep underlying factors that erupt in anger and make us see red. Anger is an emotion that does not stem from love, but grows from fear. Some of the many issues that fester into the anger blister are: abandonment, sorrow, injustice, rejection and disappointment. However, if we peel back just one more layer we find beneath all of these feelings is fear.

Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. --- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We may fear failure, success, being alone, not being good enough or worthy but the most crippling of all fears is the fear of change. When some type of fear cripples us we often disguise it with an ugly mask of anger. We can always think of ways to justify anger, and we might be quite right, but the fact still remains that anger only hurts the one that holds onto it.

Taking a step back from the situation and looking at it from a spiritual eye, with understanding and forgiveness allows one to see things from a different perspective, another viewpoint or a fresh clean lense. Anger is a choice.WE can feed it, and baby it, and hold it and pay attention toit, talk about it, and watch it grow into an ugly monster. We have options of letting it go, looking at the underlying fear, being open to change, writing, discussing, accepting and allowing. When disected properly we can make positive change by seperating the emotions from the reactions and heal the heart and cheer the soul. Anger, when looked at deeply can be a valuable tool used to propel us forward into self-growth and discovery, healing and success.
Ultimately anger is a choice, and how you deal with it will be yours.

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. -Leo Buscaglia.

Thoughts on Life Struggles

2008-01-27T17:18:00.000-08:00

Wow~ it has been a busy two weeks. I have been helping a friend out of a difficult situation and getting homework done.

I believe that when we are put on this earth we all have some kind of struggle that we are pre-destined to face. Have you ever noticed that some people consistently struggle with money? Others consistently struggle with relationships? communication? career? children? family issues? health? I think we all have life challenges, but sometimes we choose not to acknowledge them. Mine would be health. Food and smokes, they are things that hold me back. I am in the process of acknowledging this. I am doing something to change it. Little efforts all the time at being a better me. Once I complete this life challenge, I will be able to work on something else :)

We all make our own decisions, we all do that in the right time, and we all do the best we can, with what we have available at any given moment. WE must let alot go in this day and age.

So for tonight, I love myself the way I am, but see areas that can be improved upon. I will take the necessary steps to follow through. I will embrace the BUDDAH in me.

Peace
Joanne

You Will Not Mess With MY Peace of MInd

2008-01-14T10:26:00.000-08:00

I have worked very hard to achieve this peace of mind. I will defend my peace of mind, and you can not shake me from it's foundation. I have left places that haunted me, I have left behind people that drained me, I have learned to live within myself and attain my serenity there. I have forgiven people that I needed to in order to attain my peace of mind. I look in the mirror and I like who I am today. I will not let anyone mess with my peace of mind. If you are my friend, be my friend. If you show signs of jealousy, of bitterness, if you lie to me or are deceitful, you are not my friend. I don't hold that against you. You have your reasons for doing whatever you do. And I have mine and I wont let you mess with my peace of mind. Peace of Mind is hard to come by these days. It takes a lot of work to empty our thoughts, to release all the voices and the to do lists. You have to look at your faults, measure things up very carefully. You have to learn to love who you are, not who you would like to be, and you need to find your peaceful sanctuary. It can be a car, your home, simply your bathroom, but it is your place of peace. A place to calm the mind. You can also find it simply by closing your eyes, regardless of where you are. I have made a decision to chose and attract positive people into my space. My space, being my life. Life is too short to be with energy vampires that clutter your thoughts and distract you from your essence. I am very happy that I have learned how to protect myself and my peace of mind.

~Meditate regularly, think only positively, aspire to find the consciousness beyond the mind, and peace of mind will be yours.~

~Do you need or enjoy fear, worries and restlessness? If you don't, then why do you keep inviting them into your mind?~

~As the house is cleaned, so the mind can be cleaned. As you enjoy a clean house, you will enjoy a clean and uncluttered mind.When you unclutter your mind, you enjoy peace of mind~.

Accomplishments of 2007 -- and next year

2007-12-31T11:11:00.000-08:00

Rather than do the usual and think of all the things I didn't get accomplished in my life this year, I think I will think of what I did do this year! Now that sounds more inspiring to me as I greet the new year with new goals in mind. What I did do this year:

1. The most important thing I did this year was buy my first home on my own. It gives my children a sense of security for the first time and a place they know is theirs! That was a big one.
2. I walked a 60 km walk for Breast Cancer Research and raised 2100.00
3. I joined the Y and began working out.
4. I returned to University to finish my last year, and managed to get an A average.
5. I helped a few friends with accommodation, when they were stuck and needed a place to live.
6. I took my children to Florida for a vacation and spent some quality time with them.
7. I learned how to control my frustration with my eldest daughter who does not like going to school and realized that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and understand that she will find something that is meaningful to her.
8. I decided to end an unhealthy relationship, closed the book on it, and moved forward.
9. I put together a workshop, blog and website and have volunteered presenting workshops in shelters, hopefully inspiring or helping others.
10. I quite smoking for more than 2 months.
11. I took inventory of people in my life that were draining my energy and decided to have minimal contact with them, and in doing so found myself with less stress.
12. I rekindled 3 wonderful friendships, with Laura, Adam and Shawn, and in doing so, have motivated myself in many other areas and have also met many more positive people, like Thanou.
13. I maintained important friendships, made calls, wished happy birthdays and helped several people through crisis.
14. I paid for my eldest daughter to take a trip to Italy with her school.
15. I attended at least 5 motivational speaking events and plan to attend more.
16. I donated both time and money to several worthy causes.

Now the goals for 2008 are as follows:

1. to take vacation to Belize in March
2. to quit smoking forever
3. to give up eating cheese for one year -- well not buy any to have in house :)
4. to walk Weekend to End Breast Cancer in September and raise more money than I did this year
5. to send one child in Africa to school for a year
6. to develop bigger and better business and learn how to apply for grants
7. to finish university
8. to take children on another vacation and spend Christmas 2008 on a cruise with them
9. to be open to new opportunities
10. to seek out positive people with high energy

and that is what is in store for the upcoming year! I sense it will be a year with lots of positive changes and one where I see myself being able to complete some of the goals I have been working on and develop new ones.

I love New Years! I always sit home by myself and reflect on the year, the past and the future. It is my own personal celebration. May each and everyone of you have a wonderful new year and may all your dreams come true in 2008!

Peace,

Joanne

Time for a new job?

2007-12-28T05:44:00.000-08:00

So, I am looking at the YMCA's Website, and see the career section and jobs available postings. The old employment counsellor, Joanne, comes back and has overwhelming temptation to see what is out there. It is a habit I have never quite broken. I am always watching the job market, learning about it and forwarding friends emails of jobs that they are best suited for. I guess you could say it is a hobby of mine.

While I am in the website, I see the perfect job for me. A Job Counsellor........the best news is it is hours I like, and a 5 minute driving distance for me. I look over the qualifications, and don't you know, I have each and every one that they are asking for. I have not applied for any jobs in more than four years. It is scary you know, to think of the option of giving up something that is so familiar, but oh so stable and secure.

I consider it carefully, good benefits, free Y membership, working in an organization that values health, caring, respect, inclusiveness and responsibility. The other benefits of working there are: getting a workout either before or after work, and the commute..... then I think of the most important piece.... this is an INTERNATIONAL organization, which means, international opportunities.

It didn't take me long to write a cover letter, and change the resume, to retract the bus driving skills, and highlight the social work skills. It even felt natural. I am a born social worker. I am here to help others, to help the less fortunate, and spread acceptance. That is my passion.

I also thought of the incident 20 years ago, when I lived in the YWCA. I told a social worker that was working in the shelter that I wanted to do that one day. She laughed at me and said " I don't think so." Wherever you are, thanks for the motivation. I am not sure that is what you intended, but tell me I can't do something and I will just show you that I can. I have worked in 5 shelters now, and I am one of the best counsellors I can think of, not to toot my own horn, but that is where my heart is. I often repeat the old saying,

"If you work at a job you love, you will never work a day in your life"

So today I will apply for the job. I send a prayer with it that if it is the right job for me, don't let the opportunity pass me by.

I wonder what they are doing now....

2007-12-24T16:43:00.000-08:00

Today I was a little out of sorts. My employer made an error in the payroll, and hence I did not get a paycheck. I was a little upset, being that it is December 24, 2007 and there are always last minute things to buy at the store for Christmas, or for the one person you forgot or just the milk that has to last for the extra couple of days that the stores are closed. SO I was walking around the house cursing my employer, furious that they had yet again, messed up my pay.

And now I sit here and things are not really so bad when put into perspective. Most of my Christmas shopping is done, both my children and myself have everything that we need. WE have a roof over our heads, a turkey and ham for tomorrow, a few gifts under the tree. More importantly we have each other, we have good health, and we have some sense of stability.

I am thinking about the homeless people, I wonder what they are doing now. Are they huddled together in the shelter drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows, trying to be happy, even just for a day. Are they drunk on Listerine, or rubbing alcohol, trying to erase memories of a family that has abandoned them and mistakes that they made? Maybe they are in a detox drying out, going through withdrawls, completely unaware that it is Christmas at all. Perhaps a young girl prostituting is standing on the corner downtown Toronto, in the freezing cold, wondering what her parents are doing tonight, and how much she misses Christmas at the farm up north. Somewhere in this city tonight, someone is sleeping in a cardboard box under the Gardiner Expressway and is grateful for the Salvation Army truck that will drop them by a bagged lunch and if theya re lucky some new socks.

The thought of kids running up and down the halls at the women's shelter, and in the early morning running out to tell the front line staff what Santa brought to their room for them, really puts into perspective how UNIMPORTANT it is that my paycheck is late. I will wake in the morning, make the kids breakfast, look at them unwrap their presents and see my youngest scream in delight as she opens her new PSP. It brings me back to holidays in the shelter. It has been along journey, and I really should remember how lucky I am to have made it past that point in my life.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas, with hope for a better 2008, no matter where you lay your head tonight.

Joanne

Lonliness

2007-12-23T14:43:00.000-08:00

The other day someone was mentioning to me that they were lonely. I told them loneliness is foreign to me. I do not know what loneliness is. I like being alone. I like being in the company of myself . Sometimes I can not wait to go to bed to have some quietness and stillness and lay by myself and just be.

I am surrounded by friends, so I never feel "alone". I have hobbies that give me fulfillment and bring me joy. If I ever feel lonely, I just have to pick up the phone or get on the computer and chat to a friend and the feeling disappears. I looked up the meaning of loneliness on wikpedia and this is what I found "Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation."

I told the person the more you learn to love yourself, the less lonely you will be. They did not understand that and said all they needed was a wife or a girlfriend and they would not be lonely. I told them that is not true; you can be in a crowd of people and be lonely or you can be completely alone and be quite content. Loneliness is a state of mind, a way of feeling, I do not think it is contingent on someone else being there to fill an emotional state from within.

I realized that the world is full of lonely people. I find that lonely people tend to isolate themselves from relationships that require emotional exposure. I have felt lonely before, like something was missing, but thankfully for me those moments are few and far between. One of the moments I feel "lonely" is my birthday and Christmas morning. I generally feel lonely because my mother is not there, and it is a feeling of something missing. However, it is brief, and it only lasts a few minutes. It is not a pleasant feeling at all, and I would hate to deal with that on a regular basis.

There are many ways to escape being lonely; However they do require some effort:

keep and maintain personal friendships

make the effort to keep in touch with people regularly

take up a hobby that you like

find people with common interests and surround yourself with them

volunteer ~~ help someone else

These are the ways that I have overcome loneliness, which really is just isolation. If people would learn to connect to others I feel the whole world would be a lot less lonely.

Back to the Salvation Army

2007-12-16T18:48:00.000-08:00

Today I received an email from the Salvation Army Outreach Worker. I am going back In January to present my Dream Rebuilding Workshop!! I just love doing this kind of work, it brings me to life.

I did a workshop in October and it was wonderful. It was nice to be presenting in a shelter that I used to work in 15 years ago. There are so many memories there, working with my late mother, my first social work job, and all the wonderful people that went through the shelter. I also am reminded of my beautiful co-worker, Lynn Murray who passed away from Breast Cancer. When I worked at the shelter she was the Family Violence Worker When she passed away she was the Director of the Shelter. She was in her late 30's. She was a friendly woman, very pretty, non-judgemental, and always smiling.

When I do my presentations at Family Life Resource Centre, I feel very much at home. Last time I was there I gazed at the garden in the centre of the driveway that was planted in honour of Lynn. I wished I could have been there for the memorial. I will be able to attend this year. I feel a warm presence around me, and know how happy she would be that I have a genuine interest in helping these women and children to escape the life of abuse.

When I was in the room where I was presenting there was a big picture of Lynn on the wall. I felt like she was still there, just smiling at me, nudging me on, and telling me not to be nervous, I was doing a great job.

I look forward to going back to that shelter. I seem to be in my element there. I feel that the women are learning a new way of looking at the future, and by encouraging them to do their best, I also strive to do my best. Please give generously to the Salvation Army during htis holiday season. Do it for all the families in the shelter. They deserve it more than you know.

The Christmas Season

2007-12-14T18:26:00.000-08:00

Another month ~~ Just flown by. it is crazy how fast time seems to go when you are not paying attention to things. One minute it is September and I am getting ready for the big cancer walk, next thing you know, I am walking down the street watching the snow fall.

I have been cooped up this month with a broken foot. In a way it was a blessing:) I was able to study for my exam and managed to get my first 100% in university. I am not so sure how hard these are to come across, but I can tell you that I am just a little thrilled to know that I can pull it off.

I have had time to catch up with friends and that is something I love doing. I am so lucky that in through the use of Facebook I was able to reconnect to some very old friends who I seemed to lose contact with when I was facing chaos in my life. Now they are back, and it is such a treat to be able to have dinner with them, and go out with them and talk on the phone. I am lucky...... sometimes we really are given a second chance.

I went last night to the Advent Mass. Not sure I believe in all those rules, but I certainly Believe in GOD and SPIRITUALITY. As I listened to the priests words, I heard a deeper meaning...... we are all one. The priest explained what Advent was, first candle was hope, second was faith, third was Joy and fourth was love, in a wreath that is never ending. I thought to myself isn't that what all religions are about really? What is really the difference. I know this can be a touchy subject, but it just seems to me that the bottom line is love one and other. Is it really important that I eat the wafer? And if I eat the wafer and I am not christened Catholic, does that really make me a sinner as my daughter said? NO, I like to think that God would understand and would just be happy that I was at some house of worship, being grateful, and singing praise for all that I have.

SO whatever it is you are celebrating may faith, hope, joy and love be part of your never ending journey :) AND eat a cookie or wafer on your way.

Getting caught up in the Bus- i- ness of it all

2007-11-11T13:56:00.001-08:00

Well~~~

it's been a while since I have blogged. It is not a matter of forgetting about it. I have been busy with University, and I am looking forward to finishing my BA for once and all. The end is in sight, and now I jsut have to decide what to do with it, what direction to take next.

I will send that out to the universe to help me with direction. I have been asking for direction for a few weeks now, and the funniest thing happened to me. I was at a wedding shower, and I had to pick out a mystery gift. TO my surprise I received a compass. Everyone laughed at that told me to put it on the dashboard of my car. But I knew the real meaning behind it. Certainly a direction will come forth soon enough.

It is a strange feeling, knowing something is about to emerge, but not really sure what. Entrepreneur keeps coming to mind, and I find that a little scary...........OOOOOOOhhhhhh to give up the day job and risk it all. Now that is Challenge at it's finest.

I best be getting back to business --- that is business 111 and accounting 227. I forgot how much reading there is in University! But I will be back weekly from here on in and plan to do a new website.

thanks for all the support.

Joanne

The Day After........ The Weekend to End Breast Cancer

2007-09-10T17:32:00.000-07:00

It has taken me an entire day to recuperate from the 60 kilometre walk I had this weekend. I knew it would be a life changing experience but never quite realized to what magnitude that meant.

My journey began on the evening of September 7, 2007 as I packed my bags equipped with good walking shoes and socks, shorts , sleeping bag, pain relievers, peppermint cream for my feet, and a couple of nicoderm patches. This is a day I have concentrated on quitting smoking for once and all. I felt like it would have some meaning behind it and did it ever! I learned more on that walk about myself than I have in several years.

As I began walking I suddenly realized that I had 59 kilometres to go. I had a breast cancer rosary around my wrist and I sure used it. Every time I was in pain, I repeated " God give me strength" I would concentrate on all the reasons I was there raising this money, walking this path. I thought about my mother who died, I thought about the pain of the women in radiation, and chemotherapy and I thought of all the lives that have been taken so early by cancer. It is not easy to forget when you see walkers with pictures of their loved ones on their shirt. I saw one teams shirt that said S.O.B's ........... funny those were my mothers initials and every time that group of ladies passed me I felt like my mom was right there beside me, and I am sure she was.

As the first day went on, I found my feet getting tired, my hips starting to ache and cramps in the back of my legs. I carried onward, knowing that I would complete this journey. For so long I have focused on not having good health. REALIZATION!! I have great health. I have two feet that can walk, and strong legs that can carry me. I have strong arms, and I have a strong heart. For so long people have made fun of my feet, because they are always calloused and hard. On Saturday and Sunday I said many thanks to God for giving me those hard feet, because those are feet that do not blister or bleed when walking 60 K. I also saw that this was the REAL start on my journey to improved health. When looking at all the survivors around me, when seeing the people on the side of the street cheering me on, I knew that there was no turning back, no giving up.

I found myself crying several times that day. A tiny bit of it was from pain, but most was from joy. I realized that the gift is truly in giving. Was there anywhere I would rather be at that point in time absolutely not! I was completely in the moment for 2 days. I saw every smiling face, every house that I passed, I looked in windows of retirement homes where I saw old people looking out, and gave them a smile and a wave. I appreciated the feel of the sprinkler on my feet and did not feel strange saying hi to the person on the road beside me and asking them if they were ok, or how they were managing. You could feel the positive energy coming from every direction. Simply incredible is the only way to word it. With every high five a person gave me , sent a little more inspiration through my legs and into my feet. By the late afternoon of Saturday the 8th I had trekked across 34.5 km of Toronto. The last half kilometre that day was the toughest

I slept at camp that night. I was afforded the luxury of a deluxe tent without a tent partner. This meant that I would not have to worry about snoring, nor my infamous tossing and turning during the night. I crawled into my tent exhausted, but totally at peace with myself.

I awoke the following morning to the sound of rain on the roof of the tent. The first thoughts were. " great...... walking in the rain all day." I found I was able to reverse that thinking quite quickly, knowing that I had packed emergency rain gear that was comfortable, and the fact that I would not be sweating in the blistering sun. I was right ....... the day was quite comfortable. I was able to enjoy the change in temperature, and try to ignore my aching feet.

Over the course of the day there were several pit stops ( stops set up for hydration and bathroom facilities) and grab and go's ( where you get energy foods to last you through the next few kilometres. ) I was fully aware that I could not stop for long, my body had reached a point, where any delay or relaxation for too long would result in in seizing up. I just kept plodding along, knowing that the end of the walk was just a few hours away. Yes, only 25 Kilometres to be exact.

5 Kilometres from the end of the course, we walked past Princess Margaret Hospital. That was the most moving moment I can recall. Tears streamed down my face as the Doctors and Nurses and Survivors lined the road, shaking my hand, patting me on the back, thanking me for walking and for my help. That is the highest I have ever felt in my life. It is very true that the gift is in giving. Those few moments gave me enough strength to reach the finish line.

I have signed up for another year. As I sit here and nurse my blisters and complain about my aching feet and my aching back I am ever so grateful that I have been graced with the body that enables me to walk 60 k. It required some perseverance, some faith and some determination, but, lucky for me I have also be blessed with those gifts. Hats off to all the people that this disease has affected. I do hope that the 17 million we collectively raised will assist in putting an end to it, and in the meantime we can all strive to do our best.

Thoughts from the Shelter

2007-09-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

I often think of how content I am by myself. I have been alone now for a nearly 7 years. By alone, I mean not in a romantic, long term relationship. I still have lots of relationships that are wonderful and very fulfilling.

So many people tell me how hard it must be to raise my children on my own. NOT REALLY. I seem to have had support where and when I needed it. I have spent a few years learning to love myself.

I am not sure, to be honest, if a relationship is that important. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have, and then at other times I think that it might get in the way of doing what I need to do for myself. All relationships require work, and compromise, and I am not sure that I am willing to sacrifice my time to put the energy into that right now.

The reason I am blogging about this is I recently read my journal from the months that I lived in the shelter. I was able to clearly define my fears and the top of the list was Being alone. It is ironic how time changes our perception. My biggest fear has now become a choice, and something that I enjoy.

When living in the shelter, I felt very lonely. That loneliness lasted for a few months. I do not have any feelings of loneliness now. I enjoy my privacy and my time with me. Sometimes I make jokes that I am my favourite company to keep. As I write this blog today I am referring back to my notes of February, 2001.

My fears were:
of financial stress
being empty
never meeting people
being unloved
being abandoned
being hurt

My goals at that time were:
to find a stable job
to heal myself
to be independent
to be self sufficient

I must acknowledge that I have accomplished these things. It is amazing if you really focus on something how much you can get accomplished. And it just proves to me that if I can do it, anybody can.

Peace
Joanne

The Weekend to End Breast Cancer

2007-08-31T16:25:00.000-07:00

This is my final week before I start a whole new journey. Next weekend I am walking 60 kilometers (36 miles) to raise money for Breast Cancer. The reason I chose to do this is because I believe that I owe it to my sisters out there that are dying everyday from this disease. We never know when our number will be called, and it is nice to know that people are out there trying to make a difference.

Two weekends ago I was doing a tag day. A tag day is when you sell Breast Cancer items to raise the mandatory $2000.00 you need to do this walk. A woman came up to me and she had a scarf covering her head where her hair used to be, and said "thank you for walking for me, I have Breast Cancer, and am currently undergoing radiation." I started to cry on the spot. It made it so worthwhile to be doing this.

This is my first year attempting the walk, and I am getting rather excited for it. SO many people have told me it is a life changing event. On one part of the walk, we stop at The Princess Margaret Hospital (the Cancer Treatment Hospital ) here in Toronto. I can not even begin to imagine how inspired and motivated I will be when I see the patients lined up on the street cheering us on. They are the real heroes!

I will update you all on how this walk affects me personally. Please send me well wishes and cheer me on, if in thought only as I walk the most important walk of my life.

If you would like to Donate to help me reach my $ 2000.00 goal the following link will take you right to my page.
http://www.endcancer.ca/site/TR/Events/Toronto2007?px=1973880&pg=personal&fr_id=1202

Peace

Joanne

It's a great day!

2007-08-22T03:13:00.000-07:00

Woke this morning to a note in my email box that everyone is safe in Belize. Thank goodness for that. I am in Florida now, and the weather is hot and wonderful. We arrived last night and I am up early using the Internet in the hotel lobby while the family is still sleeping in the room.

Today I am taking my kids to Universal Studios and I think that I am more excited then they are! I love to see them laughing and smiling. I have one of my best friends Bettina with me, and am meeting another wonderful woman from work, Allyson and her children early this morning.

I just went outside and the weather is hot. Better bring lots of water! Will update next chance I get.

Peace
Joanne

Hurricane Dean

2007-08-18T20:04:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends, Laurie, aka http://www.tacogirlblog.blogspot.com/ and her partner Paul live on the the island of San Pedro, Belize. I am a little worried as I read the blog and can hear them through their blog entries preparing for the Hurricane that is heading directly toward the island. I know she is prepared, have enough food and water . They have a good safety plan in place, yet I am still a little concerned. I believe that they will be okay and really make the term "weathering the storm" literal for me. If you would like to send positive energy, well wishes and prayers, you can click on her link above. You will also hear the most up to date news of what is happening from someone that is on the island. Laurie and Paul, sending you lots of love and be safe, and know we are all thinking about you.
Love
Joanne

It's a busy life

2007-08-16T17:43:00.000-07:00

I realize that I have not been blogging nearly as much as I should, but it's a busy life. This month has been one of the fastest months of my life. In 3 short weeks I am about to walk the WEEKEND TO END BREAST CANCER. I made this my personal goal for a number of reasons. The first reason of course being that I want to help women, and help them to detect breast cancer early. In a way though, this is a personal thing for me. I have been a smoker off and on for about 24 year. I thought walking with all those heroes, all those survivors will motivate me to be the best I can. I am looking so forward to this walk. It is 60 Kilometers (36 miles) and takes 2 days to complete. In addition we each have to raise 2000.00, so I have been busy at local grocery stores and liquor stores asking for donations. I am walking this walk alone this year. This is my first time. I want to really be able to focus on the reason I am there, and meditate along the way. Everyone tells me what a life changing experience it is, and I bet it is!

Another wonderful thing happened this week. In the mail I received a few courses that will finish my final year at university!!!! Finally! I am hitting the books again and cracking down. I have come to realize that a degree can be quite important towards my goals of travelling abroad, and will open many more doors for me. In the past I have been someone that started things and then quit right before the success came. I vow not to do that anymore.

Alas! Another blessing came this week! My second speaking engagement was confirmed for October 3, 2007. I started to gather all the supplies I will need to present my DREAM REBUILDING WORKSHOP. I am very motivated to help people change their lives and I think I have come up with a good beginning tool.

I am also getting ready for my family vacation next week. Next week at this time I will be riding some Rollercoaster in Universal Studios with my kids. My kids will be so excited that they can't sleep. See how life changes? It was just about 8 years ago when my ex used to constantly say " Disney" is just a pipe dream. Well this year it is Universal because last year it was Disney!

I will close with my favourite poems. I hope you get as much enjoyment as I do.

THE OPTIMIST CREED By Christian D. Larsen
Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
Make all your friends feel there is something in them.
Look at the sunny side of everything.
Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others.
Be too big for worry and too noble for anger

SUCCESS by Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Friends

2007-08-09T19:29:00.000-07:00

Last night before I went to bed I spent some time listening to someone whine and complain. I said please don't let me be like that. Thank goodness I remembered when I woke up this morning.

I thought about my roommate Bettina, whom I often complain about. Then I thought how grateful I am for her. How good she is to the kids, how helpful she is when we are sick or need something. I decided to call her and let her know how happy I am that she was my friend.

I started thinking to myself, have I shown enough appreciation for my friends? When I arrived at work, I thought about the awesome boss I have. How I get to laugh all day and enjoy myself, and how blessed I truly am to be paid to have the opportunity to work with a man like him. So I thought how can I show my appreciation to him. I decided would be a good idea to go and buy him lunch, since he had no time for a break.

On my way home from work, I thought I would drop in and say hi to another friend, Shawn, who has become increasingly important, and somewhat of a mentor to me in this changing time of my journey and growth. When I got there she had an invitation to her wedding! What a great day! She gave me some great advise on my public speaking engagements, and I am very excited to find out how we fit into each others lives down the road.

Then I came home and spent some time with my eldest daughter. She has turned out to be a wonderful girl. I am very proud of her accomplishments. She is getting excited for our trip to Florida in ten days. I can't wait to ride the rollercoasters with her. I will have to make a mental note to make sure that the cam is working. I am often forgetful about the camera issue.

After that I decided to go to the Y and get some exercise. My friend Laura of 31 years, met me there. She is trying to help me to achieve my fitness goals. While I was there I bumped into another friend, Judy, who is also very inspiring. She is a woman that has many illnesses including, MS, and needs the aid of a walker, and still manages to TEACH yoga. How wonderful is that?

My youngest daughter joined Tae Kwon Do today, and she got her little uniform. I can't remember what they are called, Gees, or something. She looked so cute doing her newly learned moves and stances.

When I got home I had another 2 calls from old friends, and a secret admirer message on my phone, " I know you want to leave me, but I refuse to let you go," were the lyrics that played on the answering machine.

I am very lucky. Sometimes people feel bad that all my family members are deceased. I am not unhappy about that. Sure I miss my mom and dad, but they left me in good hands. I am forever grateful for the wonderful people I am surrounded by.

The Peaceful Warrior

2007-08-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

Tonight with a few hours on my hands, I went to the local video store and watched a movie I have been meaning to see for months. The Peaceful Warrior, based on the book by Dan Millman is definitely an add on to my favourite films.

I have read all of Dan Millman's books in the past, but needed a refresher course in how to be a warrior. Some of the messages that resonated with me during the film were so powerful that I just had to get out my pen and paper and start jotting down and thought I would share them with you.

Knowledge is knowing something, wisdom is doing it.
You need to take out the trash ( trash is the stuff we store in our minds)
Trash is the only thing keeping you from what matters
Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you can find it
Give up addictions
the first step in being a warrior is knowing that you will not know all things
Everything has a purpose ~~~ even hardships~~~ and it is up to you to find it
There are No Ordinary Moments
Service to others is KEY
A warrior does not give up what he loves
There is no stopping or starting there is just NOW
The journey is what brings the happiness, not the destination.

That last statement is hard to really comprehend fully. I mean, I get it, BUT DO I GET IT?
I will have to work on that concept more. TO remind myself to be happy in the moment, to do what counts in the moment, and not worry so much about the long term, the final goal.

It is a hard hurdle to get over. I seem to always be thinking that when I get something accomplished, when something happens that I will be happy. Rather than being happy right now. Enjoying the film in the moment. Enjoying the warm weather in the moment.

Tomorrow I will see if I can remind myself throughout the day to enjoy the moment. When I laugh to enjoy it. I think that this will take some serious training, but it seems so worth it. Because NOW is all we really have isn't it?

Healthy Living

2007-08-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

This healthy living things really is hard work. I have to be mindful of everything I put in my mouth, make time to take care of my body, and squeeze time in for rest so that I have energy. It is a bit of a struggle for me right now. I have far to go, but try to measure the milestones daily. Rather than look at the big picture, this is the one thing I have to just look at small measurable amounts for success.

I noticed today in the class I was attending at the local YMCA, how obese I am right around the middle. It took being mindful, to remind myself, that this is a great body, that it is reliable and gets me where I have to go. I also noticed reminding myself that this body is working for me right now. It was a good experience able to separate the moment of thinking how far I have to go, and focusing on what I have already done. It is nice that my long time friend of 30 years has joined the gym with me. It makes me feel accountable and more motivated to go. I also enjoy spending time with my friends, and this is agood way to get that accomplished.

A silent reminder that things take time, and a little motivational inner dialogue of " you can do it, just keep going!" is helpful as well. Two months ago I had 100 pounds to lose to be a healthy weight. Not be superstar model weight, but something that is strong and solid. I should really commend myself that I am now closer to having only 80 to lose. This is my challenge I work on daily. Send positive thoughts my way as I strive to be a healthy individual living a healthy life.
Peace
Joanne

A freeing feeling

2007-07-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

It simply amazes me how many people consider themselves victims. It is one of my challenges, my growing edge, to sympathize with someone that is staying stuck. I realize that we all have our valleys, go through depression, and face difficulties and frustrations. What frustrates me ( thankfully I have learned how to let it go ) is that that is as far as some people can see. They claim, they can't do anything else, or they wish they could, or they should have or the could have, but they didn't. Some people blame others for all their problems, rather than identifying that they problem might be that they refuse to make any changes in their lives.

They blame the jobs, the kids, the parents, the past, the government, even God, but they never realize that they might have some part in the difficulties that are continuing in their lives. At what point does one become responsible for their own actions and choices?

I have argued this point with several people. They know my stories of abuse, of broken bones, surgery, black eyes, degradation and humiliation. I always say that the first time it was his fault, the second time was mine. NOT that I am to blame for abuse. Abuse is wrong. But at some point, I am responsible for my choices and I chose to stay, knowing that what was happening was not healthy and was not right.

I know that might sound kind of hard edged. But after I was hit once, I chose to stay. I can rationalize all the reasons I stayed, I could waste time to justify my staying by emphasizing my personal weaknesses ( ie. wanting to be loved, low self esteem etc) but the BOTTOM LINE IS I STAYED. Not only did I stay for another day or two, I stayed for years!

WE all must all be accountable to ourselves first. We must take the blame for our choices, forgive ourselves and move forward. To continually blame others weakens us. WE need to realize that there was some kind of lesson to come out of it.

For myself I learned a number of things. I learned that I am incredibly strong. I also learned what kind of long term relationship I want. I learned how to identify partners I would run the other way from. I learned that we all have faults. I learned to forgive, not only myself , but those that hurt me. I learned to get up, dust off and start again.

I would not take back those nights spent shaking, awaiting the next blow to the face, but as crazy as it sounds, there was a reason for it. That experience led me to be the person I am today, and I really like myself, and others like me too. Those experiences shaped my life and helped me to define my purpose in life. So although the abuser had no right to violate me like that, I am so blessed to be able to reverse it and see what good came from it. I wish everyone could do the same. It is such a freeing feeling!

Goals

2007-07-29T17:39:00.000-07:00

What are my next goals........

I have so many goals........ and I am by nature an impatient person, who is learning slowly how to have patience. Some of my current goals are:
to never have a cigarette again
to be a healthy weight
travel the entire globe
to finish ESL and take a sabbatical from work and move around overseas and teach
to have a successful business (which I am working on)
to make lasting positive changes in the world

I hope I can continue to work towards these things

Peace

Joanne

Leaving it Behind (life in the shelter)

2007-07-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

The day had come . For two weeks I had been packing and planning. It had been difficult. To part with my dog, to find someone to take care of the cat, to change schools for the kids the third time in a year. I didn't have any money, and I was without a job, but I knew I no longer belonged here. It was time to leave this life behind and move forward to bigger and better things.

"I am moving to the shelter," I told people. "Why, isn't there somewhere else you could go?" they would ask. It was not really about finding somewhere else to go. It was about surrendering to the difficulties and trying to re-think things. I suppose if I wanted to I could have borrowed some money off of some people, went and got a job, stayed in a town I did not like, lonely and isolated, and eventually returned to the same destructive relationship I was fleeing from. However, plan A worked for me. I was focused on making a clean break this time. That was to get to a shelter, to utilize all the help I could to get me on my feet. My goals had become quite clear to me, to try to get all my bills in order, to get the kids into counselling and get myself stable enough that I could get out of this cycle I had been living for 10 years.

When I got the shelter and was greeted by the staff it was like walking into a home where I felt loved and cared for. Supportive housing means just that. It was just what I needed this time to make the everlasting changes. They told me all the rules that I would have to obide by. I understood, to manage a house with 20 women, you have to have some kind of organization. They told me there was no rush for me to move out of there. They saw that I was putting forth 100% effort, doing all I could, looking for jobs, attending courts, getting in touch with creditors and trying to get life in order. All the things I had neglected while I was busy living in chaos, now had to be taken care of. The fact that I did not have to pay for shelter freed up some space for me to focus on getting everything else done without the worries of housing on top of that.

In those short three months I got more accomplished than I did in my entire life. It was great to be with women that were in the same boat you were. They helped me through the valleys and celebrated my triumphs, such as getting an apartment, getting a job, winning in court or just getting a new resume. The counsellors were wonderful. I recall a beautiful female housing worker who used to sit with me in the early am everyday, when I told her of my life. I used to think she was so beautiful on the outside, but now I realize it was just her inside shining through to the outside. She sat with me in the smoking lounge every shift because none of the other residents were up. Her words will always be very inspiring and motivating, and they helped me to feel like a real person. She said, " I am not allowed to be your friend when you leave here (it's a conflict of interest), but I would like you to know, that if I was able to be your friend you are the kind of person I would like know." This was very validating for my own self worth and esteem. I will forever be grateful to this counsellor who was able to let her guard down long enough to be human and acknowledge the humanness in me. I did not feel like it was "us" and "them".

My life in the shelter is one I will forever be grateful for. I met some wonderful people who resided with me and are my friends to this day, and I met some wonderful counsellors and aftercare workers who really helped me through the tough times. Together I was able to problem solve and get where I am today, and that is someone that is very content with her life, and very independent.

Gratitude in the morning and at night

2007-07-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

Today somebody sent me an email about gratitude and asked if I had been grateful today?

What a relief to realize that I had been grateful several times over the day, starting with my drive to work, which I thoroughly enjoy. At 6 am when the roadways are quiet and I see the sun coming up in the east, I am grateful that I am alive. Today I looked at it's pinkish, yellowish colour, and I was grateful for the morning. I was grateful for the wonderful boss I have been blessed to work with and the safe roads I drive on. I was thinking how grateful I am that I have not had nicotine cravings in two days, and that is truly a blessing!

I thought about my two children, and how lucky I am that I have them, that they are healthy and happy. Simple things such as my car that works ( it might make some weird noises) but it gets me to where I have to go, being able to breathe, to eat, to walk, are things that we need to be grateful for. I try to remind myself of these things on the way to work daily.

i have found that the more grateful I am, the more I am blessed with. I am not sure if it is more that flows my way, because of energy and the Universal Laws of Attraction, or just the simple fact that I am more focused on good things happening and so the negative things seem to be minimized. Whatever it is I am grateful that I have been able to train my mind relatively well, to be thankful for what I have, to look forward to good things coming my way, and to meet each morning with a smile.

Sure I complain, but when I catch myself I try to override it with a positive. When I complain I find it drains me of good energy, so I try to correct it if I can, or make a joke of it. I am sure that I could never complete a gratitude book, it would just go on and on and on. I believe that alot of our success depends on whether we see the glass half empty or the glass half full, and am I ever lucky I see it as half full.

Off I go to bed to count my many blessings and hope that you will all take a moment to remember at least a few things to be thankful for at the end of the day.
Peace
Joanne

Woman

2007-07-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

It is a known fact that for centuries women have been second class citizens. They have had to fight as early as the last century for rights to education, rights to vote, and rights to earn a living. We know that we live in a male dominant society. We have had time to vent our frustrations about being inferior. That's what the 60's 70's 80's and 90's were for. Today it is 2007. WE do not have time to direct out energy anymore to male bashing or blaming.

Women have incredible strength, as shown in the latter part of the last century and into this new millennium. WE have careers, care for families, run single headed and independent households and a list that is endless. It is time for us to put our strength together and unite. WE do not have to fight for equal rights anymore, we just have to ensure that we see ourselves as equal.

By continuing to blame others for suffering, we forfeit our own personal power, continue in victim role, continue putting people before ourselves and relinquish our ability to embrace our own power and strength. If we put that energy into helping one and other, we will be much further ahead, then continuing to look to others, primarily men, to solve our problems.

When we learn to value ourselves, to love ourselves, to accept ourselves, to love our body, have self-worth and feel value, we will see that we have much more power then we ever thought we would. Once we no longer fall victim to society, to behaving as a proper woman, to looking at magazines and media for the clothes we should be wearing, the hairstyle we should be getting, and the body we should have, we will be in a better position to demand respect. By following these simple, but most difficult tasks we will not be victim ever again for one simple reason........ we will not tolerate it.

First signs of degradation, humiliation, control, manipulation or threats will send us running in another direction. Hopefully they will send us into the path of other women who feel the same way, and we can unite our power.........

As Helen Reddy once realized in her song.........

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
Oh, yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

When you love yourself enough

2007-07-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

I have discovered that when you love yourself enough, you wouldn't allow anyone else to love you less than you do. All of the people that have taken advantage of you, or have not appreciated you, or have not valued your contribution to their lives soon become much more unimportant than they ever were before. There are people that you once would run for, over-extend yourself for, just to seek their approval, or to have their love. Once you love yourself enough you begin to value yourself. You become clear on how you are treated and how you expect those around you to respect you. The running stops and the decision to love yourself enough sets in. When you love yourself enough you will never be walked on or run over again.

Getting ready for the launch

2007-07-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went and picked up magazines for my Dream ReBuilding Workshops. It was nice hearing encouraging words from an old friend that reinforced my thoughts when he said" you are on the right path." What was also interesting was hearing him speak of how far I have come. Yet, it still seems I have so far to go. I have to remind myself to pat myself on the back and see the ground I have gained in the past couple of years. There are so many exciting things to do. I am so busy right now, thinking how Direct Abundance will flourish, and thinking of all the things I wish to accomplish, how I might be able to help and be of service to others, It is important that I don't distract myself elsewhere. I am thrilled with the development of the new website, as well as preparing for the workshop on August 15, 2007 at Nellie's Shelter, Toronto, Ontario. I can't wait to meet with the women and get their feedback. Well I had better go and work on my next lesson plan, just wanted to share where I am right now. Peace, Joanne

Asking for Help

2007-07-12T15:44:00.001-07:00

We have been taught not to ask for help. In this society that we live in self-reliance has been stressed over and over again. In school we are taught not to disturb others, and to work independently. At work socialization is frowned upon. In society asking others for help is often looked upon as a weakness.

However, there is a time to ask for help, and to ask for as much as you need. It is all to common for people in difficult positions to ask for a little help, just enough to get by, but not enough to make things easier. When you are fleeing an abusive situation, or living on the street, it is time to put pride aside, and don't set limits on how much you can receive from others.

There will come a time when you can repay others, or that you will assist, and while you are struggling you need to gain all the strength you can, and generally this comes in the form of outside help. Needing help could mean going to a food bank so you have enough to keep the electrical bill paid, writing a letter to a summer camp for your kids to get a subsidized spot, moving into a shelter or getting Employment Insurance or Welfare to help you pay for a course, so be it.

Despite what we have been taught, people love to help. The opportunity to assist us may meet important needs another has. It may give that person a sense of being useful. It might help them to become a better person, and to feel good about themselves.

If you are ready to make serious changes in your life, ALWAYS ask for help. In the end, you will end up more grateful to those that helped you and they will be happy to have assisted you in your changes.

Just like the song says " I get by with a little help from my friends."

My Introduction

2007-07-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

Hi. The first thing I would like to tell you my name is Joanne O’Brien. I am a 38 year old single mother and live with my two wonderful daughters, and have been on my own since 2001.

I am presently working for the TTC, and have my own on-line business. In the past 6 years I have been travelling, taking courses, upgrading my formal education, self-development, Reiki, Yoga, Meditation, and purchased a condo for my children and myself.

I am developing workshops that I will facilitate in Shelters across Ontario, Canada. Primarily I will begin with Women's Shelters, but would like to expand that vision, to include several types of shelters and support groups. My intention is to publish a book with the personal writings of people in shelters, their challenges, their triumphs and their experiences.

I will also give you some background information on myself.

I lived in shelters off and on over a 13 year period.

In 1987, I lived at Youth Without Shelter, Toronto, Ontario
In 1988, I lived at the YWCA in Kitchener, Ontario.
In 1989, 1986 and 2000 I lived in Interim Place, Mississauga, Ontario.
And I was on Welfare several times

An interesting component is that I have also worked in several shelters as a Counsellor and Housing Worker. I was also a Case Manager Welfare Worker for Ontario Works.

The shelters I have been employed with are:

Family Life Resource Centre, Brampton, Ontario
Amelie House, Toronto, Ontario
Mary’s Home, Toronto, Ontario
Esprit Place, Parry Sound, Ontario

So as you can see, I am very familiar with the Shelter system and some of the difficulties people might be facing, in addition to and more importantly some of the strange emotions and turmoil they are challenged with.

Six years ago I

· Owed more than 100, 000.00
· I was unemployed
· I was living in a shelter with my 2 children
· My Bank Account balance was -1300.00
· I had just served a week in jail while awaiting a bail hearing

On more than one occasion I thought how am I going to get through all this muck?

Some of the emotions that people residing in shelters experience are:

· Fear
· Confusion
· Failure and Inadequacy
· Helplessness and feeling very alone

And I want to tell you that the empty feeling and feeling very anxious and unable to concentrate or make decisions are NORMAL.

Residents in shelters are in SURVIVAL MODE. And you need to be in that place to survive just as the term indicates.

I want you to sincerely know that there is hope, and that I can honestly say I am so glad that those feelings are a lifetime ago for me, and I am very confident that I will never have to use my SURVIVAL skills again.

So the reason I am here blogging is to assist you in meeting your personal and professional goals, to give you a little insight about what you can do on the long road ahead. It will not be easy, but I take it the life you have lead up until now has not been easy either. I can tell you that making a change in your life will require you to break old habits, change your thinking patterns, possibly moving, and opening new doors. There will be times along that journey that you feel like giving up, and there are other times when you feel so complete and successful that you could just scream. The support you need is out there, the things that you need are out there, but the biggest step in the road and indicator of your success will begin with you and making a decision that it is time to move forward in your life.